I was not wearing pants,
I couldn't find my coat,
next to me in bed,
I saw a billy goat.

He was smoking a cigar,
and had on a big grin,
he had long pointy horns,
and a beard on his chin.

I covered myself up,
screamed all the day through,
"what the bloody hell,
have i gotten myself into?"

"Well my dear woman,
you're now covered in sores,
I've gotten you pregnant,
the burden is all yours."

I screamed and yelled for help
bashed my head into a wall,
I woke up from my bed,
and took a nasty fall.

What a horrible dream,
I knew what I had to do,
BLUEF I SWEAR TO FREAKIN GOD,
I'M NEVER DRINKING WITH YOU!

Penned by my hand on the 13th of Valnuary, in the year 607 AF.