To the City that was once my home,

As many of you have already heard, I departed from the Dawnspear just in these couple of months. Since I left quietly, I gave little explanation, but I shall do my best to list them now.

I'd been contemplating leaving for many years... over a decade in fact, so it was not in any way a sudden decision. I loved, and still love Targossas, for it has been my home since I was eighteen. However, in service to Creation, I've had to give up so much; my loved ones, passions and dreams. It was out of devotion and reverence to the Light so I gave willingly, but now I look in the mirror and only see a stranger.

The same with Creation. I've never truly experienced life outside our walls since I settled in the fair City. The only things I've known in life is how to become the blade that defends and fights our foes. However, to this day, I still do not completely understand what we fight for. Certainly, we have the Oaths we swear, and the perfect, textbook answers on what our tenants of Good, Righteousness are, but in the end, the words are still empty words to me.

As someone who works with words and music as a profession, I know perfectly how words without true meaning and conviction are useless. No matter how many sermons I attend, how many prayers I utter, as long as I never experience the meaning, I will never understand it. How can one raise their sword and protect something they are not sure of? To effectively serve, one must not be plagued by doubt& and that is what I have, doubt.

I left to seek out and admire all that Ayar -now Sarapis created, in hopes that in seeing things in with my own eyes would allow me to appreciate all that we fight for.

I left so I may both find myself, and discover the true meaning of the ideals of Targossas

Farewell,

Lauria Ashaela


Penned by my hand on the 20th of Mayan, in the year 671 AF.