The Feuding Cults of Banapis

EVENTS NEWS #13
Date: 5/7/2012 at 18:53
From: Anonymous
To : Everyone
Subj: The Feuding Cults of Banapis

The goblin often referred to by a few expletives or, by his friends, as Percy,
sat upon an overturned crate beneath the bright silks of his Banapis tavern.
Customers mulled around him, jostling each other in their eagerness to sample
his new concoction, the Treacle Trounce, but he couldn't quite enjoy this years
festivities.

"Deys lef me," he sighed into his own glass of rum-laced Trounce. Casting a
baleful glance towards the line of customers, a flash of gold seems to
momentarily straighten the bent goblin's spine. "Welps, tis goods for biznuss,
ya!"

Slamming back his drink and sucking on his treacle-stained, protruding lower
lip, Percy lets out a hair-curling breath as he begins, "All began on de trail
to de fair..."

---
Yaks in tow, Percy sat high and nobly atop his rickety cart basking in the
Dzanin sunshine. Well, he sat as nobly as a goblin can possibly get atop a
repurposed chicken cart. Pulling the caravanning carts to a halt and wiping the
sweat from his brow, he craned about to see how Hannal and Eleana were faring
in the cart behind.

Strangely, the canvas-covered cart... was rocking. A bit bewildered and
wondering if perhaps some sort of very small earthquake was occurring and
potentially endangering his wares, Percy clamored down and was quickly and
assuredly educated in just exactly what was endangering his wares.

Emerging a few moments later rumpled and quite indignant, a nearly dressed
Eleana and Hannal the animal trainer promptly informed Percy they could no
longer enjoy his employment or company.

"Percy, please understand," Eleana pleaded as Hannal tugged her small clothes
chest and belongings out of the wagon. "We appreciate everything but... we must
start our life elsewhere. This vagabond way of travelling here and there with
you simply won't do for a family!"

Being a goblin of some education in the ways of the world, Percy wondered at
the likelihood of his tavern wench's frail eledhel frame ever bearing the child
of her massive dwarf paramour, but being a man of business, his first concern
was the issue of Banapis.

"Wat I do wif all dis and jus me to be sellin'?!" he cried, flailing his
spindly arms as he stomped about in a gobbic tantrum steadily growing towards
epic proportions.

---
As Hannal and Eleana trudged off (atop a yak that Percy charged them double
for), Percy sat alone, wondering how he could possibly haul two carts through
the Grey Towers when suddenly it hit him. Quite literally, a clod of dirt
suddenly became uncomfortably intimate with the back of Percy's lumpy head as a
cry of 'For the Earth and flowers and stuff!' wafted through the air.

Muttering disparaging things about his former employees, tugging two quite
obstinate yaks, and not entirely sober, a bedraggled Percy managed to trudge
the needed steps up the rise to see the bewildering sight of what appeared to
be a shaggy bush attacking a marble column. Blinking and rubbing his eyes, the
scene finally began to focus a bit.

"We must have this valley," intoned the column, which Percy noted was no column
at all but rather a tall man wearing robes of pure white.

"Take your nasty zaps back into the rocks!" cried a woman that Percy had
altogether believed to be a sickly looking willow of some sort, the sheer
volume of greenery woven into her hair making his blurry eyes see things.

Despite his inebriation, our hero was above all else a man of business, and
where there is conflict, there are people who need coin. With naught but a
quick lick of his fingers to smooth his bushy brows, Percy waded into the fray
and laid forth what he considered a brilliant plan.

In no time at all, both sides had retreated to discuss his offer. Percy learned
that his new 'biznuss party-nears' were two cults, one revering Lady Silban the
Earthmother and the other Lord Astalon the Sky Lord. Aptly named the Cult of
Air and Cult of Earth, the 'funny willow-woman' explained to Percy that this
valley tucked into the Grey Towers was filled with truffles and mushrooms, the
key to realizing Her deep inner workings. The Cult of Sky found a
lightning-scarred monolith nearby and planned to 'requisition' the area for a
massive temple... just as soon as they removed the other cult.

To the delighted and misshapen ears of Percy, this spelled profit, possibly
profit with two T's and a couple of O's if he managed it right. Convincing the
two cults to raise much-needed coin by selling his wares, he was afforded a
rather melancholy break to reconsider his plans for future fairs. With only
himself now, traveling far and wide for goods would be out of the question.

Settling back on his stool, Percy sighed into his drink, mulling it all over
much as he had been since Banapis began. He must remain here the year, gather
his gold up, and keep these two crazy cults vying for land and coin till he
figured out his next plan...

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Kimia, in the year 31.