How to Tell If You Are Destined to Be the House Boss or If You Are Just Being Bossy
I have a confession to make. My character’s house had the worst leader ever. The person was obnoxious, self-centered, and cared about one thing – making himself look better no matter who he stepped on as he climbed the ladder to success. I am ashamed to admit that the character was one of my own, and the time he served as house leader ranks as one of my all-time lows in all the time I’ve ever spent gaming.
The worst part was that I could not even see that he was being so overbearing and driving people away. It was not until most of the house membership left and that I woke up and saw the negative results of my actions, but by then it was too late. Adding insult to injury was the fact that the house secretaries were not even willing to take over when I decided to quit.
4 Musts for People in Leadership
If this sounds familiar, then perhaps you also had a leadership experience that proved you were better at being bossy than being the boss. Whether you are in a leadership position right now or planning a future in roleplay politics, here are some tips to help avoid you suffering through the same misfortune that I experienced.
Try to Be Patient – Leaders are patient people. Even if you are watching someone designated as your aide fumble through something you could do in half the time with twice the efficiency, if you do not give them the opportunity to do it for themselves then they will lose interest. If the end result is not what you had planned, it is not the end of the world and the person doing the work might surprise you – it could be a better end result!
Stop Trying to Be Perfect – The main reason why people are bossy is because they want things done right. When you are leading a group, mistakes within the group reflect poorly on the leadership – and that person is you! Your way is not always the perfect way, and it is certainly not always the best way. Sometimes it is better to suck up your pride and your desire to have everything done your way, the perfect way, and let someone else have a turn at leading.
Spend Time with People – People support those who they like and trust. But if you spend all your time holed up in your office, they can’t get to know you. And if people don’t know you, then it will be difficult for them to like and trust you. In return, spending time with people helps you get a better idea of who you can trust. This is important when building the next generation of leadership within your house or other organization.
Communicate with Membership – Whether you are having a full house meeting or just making a news post to the members of your house, honing your communication skills will go a long way in making people feel like valued members of the house. When disciplining members for misdeeds, then be sure and treat them with respect even if you are on the verge of ousting them. Even if they are unhappy now, you will leave them with a better lasting impression for it.
Ask for Feedback – Meet with your council of house secretaries or other leadership positions within the organization and discuss the state of affairs. Discuss future goals, and what you would like to see membership accomplish. Meetings are also a good time to discuss things that need attention, like an unruly house member or a change to house requirements. But also talk with new members to the house. When a member of leadership descends from their pedestal to talk to the younger members of the house, it makes that person feel important and keeps them coming back.
A Final Tip
So you think you are ready for leadership? Ask people whether or not they feel you would make a good leader. If they say no, ask them how you could improve. Even the harshest criticisms should be taken as constructively as possible to avoid flying off the handle, or worse a full-blown confrontation. When people see you are serious about wanting to serve your house, then they will be more likely to vote you into a leadership position.
About the Author
Seth Grayson’s older brother introduced him to his first MUD game when they were teenagers and he has been playing ever since. His characters boast a great deal of leadership experience, some of which he once used on his personal resume in real life. When he isn’t playing his favorite Iron Realms Games or studying for his next college exam, you can find Seth whipping up lattes behind the counter at the local coffee shop.
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Comments
Yikes
I don't know if I would ever have the chops to be the leader of a guild but who knows what a little hard work can bring out of you.
so true
so true
...funny how it seems...
...funny how it seems...
We had a leader like this :(
We had a leader like this :(
haha
^^
yikes
that really has to suck
Maybe you still do.
Maybe you still do.
Who would want to lead a
Who would want to lead a guild anyway.
heh
for the "powah!"
With great power,
comes great responsibility. *sagenod*
Tough Job
The leaders of the houses have a lot of responsiblility. I'm not sure I would want to shoulder that much. I just like to have fun.
For some, command is fun.
But not for me. I play games to avoid responsibility, not take more on.
and yet
and yet you are in a leader position, Darklyre. huh
So much for being stealthy.
So much for being stealthy.
Not by choice!
Didn't have the option to decline with grace!
heh
Was just messing with ya. You aren't the boss, which this article is talking about, just one of many leaders!
boss!
boss!
People that see the need and
People that see the need and don't run away from it tend to be the best leaders
Now see...
I always find I have no choice in the matter, regardless of the realm or character I always end up in some leadership capacity :< Try to avoid it so hard too...
tough luck
being so awesome that you always end up in leadership? that just sucks! </sarcasm>
agreed
Though, at times it better to know when to run away..
Right
That is exactly my thought.
Yeah
I dunno if I've got it in me. All that responsibility. I'd like to help out a bit, though.
True
I don't know that the responsibility would be all that fun but like you said I would like to help out a bit if I could.
Nice
Nice
..Not sure if Bronislav would
..Not sure if Bronislav would ever want that sort of weight on his shoulders.. :x
hehe
The responsibility!
good for ya, Bro!
good for ya, Bro!
Exactly.
Exactly.
uh huh
:D
I'm usually never fond of
I'm usually never fond of leaders since they tend to seem fairly distant. I have to agree with the "spend time with others" part due to that.
Who else is tempted to toss
Who else is tempted to toss out the names of bad leaders and ask if one of them is Seth's?
Me!
Me!
there is a rant hidden in
there is a rant hidden in here, I suspect
true
true!
leadership is hard to get
leadership is hard to get down irl too, really. Heck, a lot of this could apply to a lot more situations
agreed
agreed
Agree
I agree!
^
^
meh, depends, really.
meh, depends, really.
Well said!
Well said!
I'm too inactive to ever
I'm too inactive to ever lead, really
Me too - I try to play a
Me too - I try to play a couple of hours most days but when the same people are there every time you log on, you feel you are not puting the time ion to give a position the effort it deserves.
I'm in the same boat, I'm
I'm in the same boat, I'm lucky to get 5 hours in per week
same here
agreed
D:
D:
yay, new article. I really
yay, new article. I really like how good they've been as of late
Agree
I agree! The quality of the articles has been really great recently.
Here's hoping it keeps up.
Here's hoping it keeps up.
articles
quality writers means quality articles!
True. Makes me wonder how
True. Makes me wonder how they recruit.
no pay
lots of admin work. where do i sign up?
being snarky
it can be a fun position, just have to set up a functional org and delegate accordingly.
It's true, nicely set up orgs
It's true, nicely set up orgs are much more reasonable to run. Organisation beforehand saves dull donkeywork later.
+1
+1
+2
+2
+1
+1
Good advice! I'd like to see
Good advice! I'd like to see more eaders follow along these tips. I've no aims to play politics, but I'd be far more likely to participate if more did.
agreed
agreed
Did the
Did the Guildmaster thing back in the day. I wasn't very mature then, so I'm sure it could've gone better!
Even if you were, I think
Even if you were, I think recognizing that now is a good sign that you'd to better if you suddenly became a guildmaster today.
Nah
I don't aspire to that anymore, at least not like I used to! I'm content to be one of the masses.
noty
noty
i like the title
i like the title
good article
depending on the org, leadership can be a lot like babysitting
Leadership can kill the fun
Leadership can kill the fun in any game.
It can.
It can.
Heh
And often does
For sure
:/
Well
It takes a certain type, I think. Some people find those sort of tasks more fun than other things.
I really agree with the
I really agree with the "Spend Time with People" point. A guild likes to know that its leadership is active, and the best way to do that is to talk with people in it and make your presence known. If you have a big project in the works but never talk to anyone, they may just assume you're inactive, which can lead to problems during election time. Your secretaries aren't enough.. the broader your impact, the higher your chances of staying in office.
spend time with the people,
spend time with the people, should add and helping new players
Solid advice
Solid leadership advice, not just for organisations in MUDs, but also in RL
Definitely boss.
Definitely boss.
hmm....
hmm....
Know when to step down
Be responsible when you are in a leadership position. If you know you are going dormant or cannot handle the work anymore, don't just disappear and let the others in doubt whether you are coming back or not, with work accumulating in the mean time. Step down or ask to be replaced.
Leadership
This is a great article. Maybe one day Eilona will be the Lady of Nature leading the Druids! She's got a long way to go yet, though.
Great read
And whatever you do be sure to keep having fun. Isn't his why we play? If house leaders are having fun more and stressing out less then the doorway to the position would look less like a revolving door and more like a stationary door with rusty hinges.
Yo dawg
That's 5 musts. What the hell.
Actually, six, if you count
Actually, six, if you count the final tip!
And 1
If you count "Just the Tip"
D:
D:
Good read.
I like it.
Credit this time.
My point still stands, though.
very good advice
very good advice
shameless credit post, but at
shameless credit post, but at least I'll be honest about it
good article
good article
I think we all know people
I think we all know people who could benifit from this advice
Indeed
,,,we certainly do.
Credit comment.
Credit comment.
+1
+1
leadership is one of those
leadership is one of those thankless, grindy jobs that are needed for things to run smoothly, are constantly complained about, but no one really wants to do. Like a referee in sports.
It doesn't have to be. There
It doesn't have to be. There less interesting parts of most jobs but the other parts can make up for it.
Leadership
I don't think I have it in me to eve be an important leader, but who knows.
Give it a try
Give it a try
All within time
experience and you'll get it down in no time.
mostly you have to be willing
mostly you have to be willing to give up time and listen.
Good read
Good read
+1
+1
+2
+2
pls no
pls no
hahahahah
meanie
good MUD article
i enjoy reading about MUD games
the picture is good on this
the picture is good on this
how so?
how so?
how not?
how not?
Being a leader made me feel
Being a leader made me feel like I was working instead of having fun.
Definite maybe
I sure would like to help out my House, but I doubt I'd be ready or experienced enough to do it.
respect and diligence
respect and diligence
credit
credit
yummy
credits.
credit
credit
I myself...
I had a problem with needing everything done right, and was reluctant to give up jobs sometimes, but in most cases, my biggest struggle was with people trying to push their way past rules and regulations, feeling they should be the exception to the laws. Sometimes, people will attack you just because you ARE the person in charge.
While that's true, try to remember that they are still worthwhile to the organization, and keep as objective a mindset about them as possible. Sometimes it's difficult, but that's part of what roleplay is for!
Excellent advices. Not just
Excellent advices. Not just for a game, but for RL too...
Leadership
Great article, and great comments as well. Filled with handy advice to keep in thought.
Still boss!
Still boss!
Ourania is so pretty
Ourania is so pretty
Hmm
Hmm
Too much of responsibility
Too much of responsibility being the boss imho..
yep, takes alot of time
yep, takes alot of time
good points
good points
Credit
Credit
Yep!
Neat!
+1
+1
what they said
what they said
I do my best, I always check
I do my best, I always check in on those I'm leading, and I always ask those who are more experienced in leading and giving me tips in how to lay this path, and I make use of a skill that I am familiar enough with to employ far more easily if I'm not sure about something, and if it's a more appropriate path to delegate, I will take it, but I only take it IF it's a better choice than trying to keep a full hands-on approach to it, which I avoid doing in the first place because...well...it's not like I'm building a family clan with my project, I'm building what I hope will be a very big deal sometime in the future..so..if my views are the only ones taken into account, then it won't be an ideal future for my project, it will me a future built for me exclusively..and that simply will NOT be tolerated, by myself or anyone else.
anyways...yeah..I am not
anyways...yeah..I am not afraid of having the input of those I lead, and with this input, I tend to temper my decisions with this input in mind, heh.
good content nonetheless!!
good content nonetheless!!
+1
good content
are you one of the only
are you one of the only people active in your house/guild? Probably make a good enough leader then
okay
okay
Credit
+1
also, just saying? Love
also, just saying? Love quest XP competition <3
Good read thanks
Good read thanks
Huh...
Huh...
uh
*ponder*
agreed
agreed
I want to know
which house was that...
Good tips! I'd like to
Good tips! I'd like to lead... well, something someday, so I'll keep these in mind
that article was so intense
that article was so intense man
Some groups are seriously
Some groups are seriously an-l retentive
Just bossy
Just bossy
I am in no way qualified to
I am in no way qualified to lead anything, thank you very much.
me neither, maybe one day
me neither, maybe one day
all within..
time
Snooty Leaders
hate it when HLs and politicians act all high and mighty when they just recently got the job to begin with. And they always have to be so dead-set in their ways. No offence meant, but it still irks me.
irkfull.
irkfull.
Is there a stepping stone
Is there a stepping stone role in guilds that guild leaders tend to come from - like to Head of Newcomers tend to go on to lead guilds (not of course because they have the patience of a saint and are used to answering the most obvious questions)?
or
you can just not get interested in politics...
credit
Comment rawr
+1
+1
i wouldn't be good as a
i wouldn't be good as a leader
Leadership can be exhausting.
Leadership can be exhausting.
so intenste
so intenste
+1
+1
Bein' Boss
I'll always look to help out, but I'm not really interested in -actively- gunning for anyone's position. If it happens, cool. If not... cool (maybe).
hrm
same applies to city... I'd like to be Tyrannus some day but yeah that's pretty far away heh
I don't know if I'd ever want
I don't know if I'd ever want to be Tyrannus
credit
credit
I would be awesome.
Send guild aides off on seemingly random quests in the dangerous parts of the middle of nowhere.
Approach novices with self contrived RP about them being the next messiah.
Make frivolous smack talk to other House leaders.
Mail house mates random gifts demanding they keep this crap out of my hidden secretary lounge/batcave/lair.
Public executions and the sacrificial offering of live cattle to our House diety will be mandatory with accompanied naked song and dance.
Interrupt house meetings for emergency fire drills.
Try to convince everyone my drunken stuppor is divine communication of a higher level of learning.
Engage in live combat with novices while they tutor skills from me exclaiming lets wrestle or hey are you following respect yo elders damnit! *thwap*
Call out on house chat asking how do I get into the house? who changed the locks on the house halls!?
Thanks
Informative article and comments!