IRE Asks: What unique artefact would you own?

The Key of Unlocking.

An artifact to grant the thoughtstealer skill!

Pauldrons of shrugging all the way

An aetherdock for the manse

a denizen that would automatically upkeep the farms

an artifact that would allow me to choose my guildskills without being restricted to class

a weather system for the manse

an artifact that can separate sound from one set of rooms to another

an artifact to create stronger, aggressive mobs for manses (really want to create zones for fun)

an aethertaxi that would move people from bubble to bubble for a gold cost.

something to create arena's in manses

a manse bank that I could direct funds to.

an artifact that allows two people or more to gamble on anything if the rules are first created then agreed to by all the parties. For example: I bet 100k that so and so will die in 10 min. person b bets 100k that they won't die at all. The artifact takes the money from both parties and gives it to the winner. Could be done discretely, no need for each person to be next to each other.

A figurine that would generate esteem by itself for each day

an artifact or something that would link manses to clans or to create projects in clans

an artifact that would randomly proc a chain lightning attack against aggressive mobs. Would be cool

a way to dispose of trash anywhere you are

a buffed up mask of esteemed beauty

artifact stat packs

denizen family members

an artifact that allows your manse to be seen on the lusternian map system, and not some private one.

an artifact commodity shop for manses. Without the limit set by regular shops, and the ability to buy commodities.

a personal set of miniskills? Something that could be shared with a clan or family that they could take on for a set cost?

denizen announcer, something that would advertise for you on the market channel, even when you aren't there.

I would love to be able to control the numbers in my statpacks, say give me a certain amount of points and let me control where the points go :)

...to drop somewhere, walk away and be able to GO TO SIGIL to go back to your saved spot, it automatically going back in your inventory when you arrived. Only the owner could pick it up!

An artefact that lets me zap.

Shoes of Sneaking

Allows me to SILENTLY toggle sneak, so I can leave a room without it being announced to all present.

Normally I wouldn't require an arti for this, but for some reason sneak was merged with hide on Midkemia. So, in order to leave silently, I have to very noticeably step into the shadows. Complete RP fail.

Something that let me sprint in the wilderness 9unless there is one already in which case I will feel foolish)

An artifact pet that's ridable, responds to actions and can auto-attack. Doesn't have to attack for much, just would be cool to have pets(outside class pets) that can actually realize you're in a fight and help you. Intelligent pet.

1. Level 2 hammer of forging (could be better stats, faster balance recovery, or higher returns from smelting).

2. Portable forge.

3. Permanent resistance rings.

4. Cutomizable form descriptions (dragon, chaos lord, viridian, etc).

5. Customizable race (keep your current stats but be an orc, wight, sidhe, or whatever else you can think of).

6. Artefact armour.

7. Increased experience gain.

8. Reduced experience loss upon death.

9. Speed up praying sequence after death.

There's probably a bunch more but I can't think of them at the moment.

an artifact that would allow you to change your bloodline once

I like Blujixapug's key of unlocking artefact idea...even if it wouldn't open private magically locked doors and just normal locked ones. I come across so many that I have no idea how to open or if it's even possible, it would be pretty handy!

I would like a private commshop. Same basic prices, so I have to pay gold to get the comms - but nobody ELSE is going to buy out the stuff. It doesn't even have to have everything, just cloth and leather.

My own garden w/ every possible environment to grow herbs - damn too few jungle rooms in Midkemia....

Of endless whiskey. Has the special power to allow you to flood entire rooms with whiskey thus forcing your opponents to get horrible amounts of drunk (and yourself) several times a month. You can also refill your vials from it for a random type of whiskey. 

Artifact win button.

You push it and the other player lags out and their system crashes.

cloak of greenwind

gauntlets of greensect

Artifact rubber chicken

These ideas for non-decay enchantment items, like resistance rings for instance: I'm opposed because they'll tend to kill the market for enchantment goods!

Captain Good's Monacle. Would let me use PRINTS like hunters.

I would like an artifact that can be used to design and create other artifacts to do whatever I want.

(In other words, the standard answer: I would wish for more wishes.)

I'd create an artefact that gives me a separate "qw" listing of everyone off plane, and allows me to farsee/seek/scry/etc them.

Phantom mask. It's cool.

that would all non forestal classes to harvest.

oh how my inventory would become managable if I had a hungry little humgii just waiting to carb up on my extraneous stuff.   The fact that said humgii would be usable only by me would lead to some pretty comical reactions to the critter being left unattended. 

A custom dragon or viridian description would be awesome and nice to have.

I would love to have two ship returns ><

For myself, I like something that would allow bard milestones like in Lusternia.  That always seemed like the most useful transport skill to me.

an anklet of anti-shrubbing (self-explanatory. 20,000 credits)

spectacles of reason and fairness (counteracts administration bias 1% of the time. Can stack up to a maximum of 25%. 5,000 credits each)

a receipt (guarantees a response to correspondence. One time use. 2,000 credits)

a journal of administrative rulings (grants consistency 50% of the time. Cannot stack as unique dice rolling feature must remain. 7,500 credits)

Sceptre of Aqueous Mastery (just sell again)

Staff of Cataclysm to regain world cataclysm (or allow for use indoors) for its user.

Sphere of Wiirh that allows to be portaled to by the Magi.  Same restrictions as portal.  Can be recalled by Magi at any time.  No reset timer on it.

I'd want an artefact that would keep me from dying all the time, not just one use every rl day or something. When I'd die, instead of dying I'd just be reset to full health, mana, endurance, and willpower, and if it's a person who killed me, they'd get xp, but I wouldn't lose any and wouldn't have to pray/get rezzed.

I would want an item that never runs out of Karma... a special thing to study from... or does that already exist?

Ankh of Invincibility.

A shoulder-mounted gerbil launcher 9000!  Shoulder-mounted water cannon to knock people down would be pretty funny too!

Ability to make a really awesome smithed weapon permanent!

I would definately want a personal arte that would allow me to travel anywhere I wanted without driving or flying. That would be wonderful.

If you get enemied to the forest you cant do anything in it without getting disrupted by wolves and vines. This makes the extermination ability in necromancy worthless and it is a real pain in the arse for anyone else trying to do anything in the woods. I understand that leveling the forest would upset game balence but this is not as critical as it once was due to the introduction of alchemy. I would like to see an artifact that at least slows the wolves and vines down to a manageable level. An artifact that stops them alltogether would be even better, after all oakstone still needs someone to hate don't they?

Something to make my traps more noticeable! Really stick it to those folks who spring them. Or maybe something to make them cheaper to lay or faster to alarm.

I still want a whip artifact

Artifact homestone, can set a location as your return point and go home instantly...

an artifact to evade... and one to AF!

What about a gi of some sort? A gi for mana, or for health regenerartion. Or a scarf for brething underwater? A black belt of striking, agumenting the chance of critical hits? Clearly I am a monk!

Butterfly wings, that would take me to any of the forests.

And then it automatically takes me there.

I want that obsidian quiver of shooting stars that Pandemonium has.

I have no idea what it does. I've always imagined the shooting stars to be like meteor arrows but 1000 times more awesome. I just love the idea of it.

I would like my own personal denizen henchman. Not a pet and not an ent but a henchman that can do things like deliver personal messages, fight for me, and tell me how wonderful I am. Special abilities for said henchman could cost extra in credits. Said ability could be any ability that any class has as the henchman would have to choose a class just like a real player does but each chosen henchman class would only have 5 or so skills that they could learn since henchman just aren't as smart as we are. They would be all the rage, everyone would want one. credit prices would skyrocket and Credit sales would go through the ROOF! 

Balance

Lantern of Sacred Light.

Crozier of the Deep King.

one that makes me fly

Amulet of God Spying

I want the auto-harvester, I walk into the room, and it just harvests whatever my rift isnt full of.  Hehe!

tarot deck please

Wand of Weather-Weaving.

So many interesting ideas

Artifact eye lasers.

Mandala of Mental Manipulation.

A Shard of the Kaustubh Jewel (in whose facets the fate of every soul is written).

Gourd of the Eight Winds (for filling sails).

 A permanent, aggro Baalzadeen...you know, one that actually is willing to get a bit bloody now and then

Seed of Yggdrasil. Just add water.

I'd want a fully customized staff with lvl 3 willpower/staffcast on it..

It would be my arte for sure.

A talking sword. It wouldn't talk to everyone ofc. Probably just me.

Just the name alone makes me want one. Any bonus it gives to cataclysm at all would work. More range, Indoors , cast another spell through it, able to make a cataclysm without having to have two other magi, anything.

Wand of Polymorph.

I wish that this flagon artefact at least gave us some gold every day instead of just now and then... It makes it seem rather useless in a way. I go in there every day and only every like 4 months or so do I managed to find like 500 gold... whoopie twang I can get that in a second anywhere else. Ah well guess its still a  fun artie.

synthesizing metals is not fun, I want an artefact that synthesizes without any balance!

What about a hat that spawns...well... more hats? :D

It'd be neat to have something that would let you silence a room of all says and emotes, the way that Divine can sometimes do during events and such.

A zeppelin.
Sky pirates are the best pirates, except for possibly space pirates or time pirates.

Dagger of vivisection

Because falling on your butt every time the water freezes over is annoying

An artefact that once per month could change into an artefact of equal or lesser value.

I still dream of a cereulan dragon mount.. which can fly, and breathe lightning at people (emote only.. not an actual attack).

Less endurance spent on fishing, more bites per second, more money per fish. Feeesh.

I wouid like something that allowed me to morph into animals of Achaea and walk around as. I wouldn't be able to attack but I could fly or dig or follow scents.

A medallion to allow a Rite of Prayer to restore Devotion to an Excommunicated Paladin, because it will happen to me, one day.

Still say phantom mask.

An Elder Scroll.

A thought engine.

Want to be able to understand allll languages!

Gonna second the above: a Rhabdos of Amphibification.

An item that would make crystalhome faster. An item that would allow me to fold pearls, for a higher number of facets.

A rubber rat to use for Extispicy. A little joke between friends, but would be hilarious, and means I don't need to leave wherever I am just to get a rat.

A clockwork rat.

The amber spyglass.

A treasure map cipher, for encoding the locations of riches.

My own aethership!

Mulligan. Redeemable for one do-over. Resets.

Pendant of Psychometry. Sense the history of any item. Where it came from, who held it last, past owners...

A ring that allows a Shaman to Curse right through cursewards. 

Some kind of lobster-gun, or something. Aim it at someone to turn points of their physiology into a crustacean carapace. Hitting their legs would weaken them obviously but if you hit their arms by mistake, those claws could be trouble.

A portrait of profound perfection, to take damage in my place.

I am working on custom spectacles for Vayne,

A crystal-powered magnetic wand. Polarity reversable. Comes with spring-propelled chain attachment.

The Bow of Ill-Timed Badassery

Only hits people when the timing is right - when you need to show off, or earn cool points. When you're roleplaying about how great a shot you are, it will bullseye a womp rat and everyone will be appropriately jealous.

But when you're actually fighting for your life, it will miss. Consistently.