IRE Asks: Which MMO artefact would you find in your cereal?

RPG video game cereal

In many American supermarkets, the cereal aisle can be a nightmare. Conflicts of morality, budgeting and health concerns (like how that one always cuts the roof of your mouth!) arise, leaving consumers walking up and down the aisle twelve times, trying to find the right combination of marshmallows and sales stickers. Sugar intake vs wallet outtake is serious business, and needs to be weighed accordingly.

 

But what if Iron Realms introduced a breakfast product? Made even sweeter with free prizes in every box? It could never happen.. or could it? No. Probably not. But in an alternate universe, it would totally cripple Tony the Tiger and 4x BBT him. Then it'd turn around and kai banish Count Chocula for eternity. It would be the true breakfast of champions.


If such a product hit the shelves at a supermarket near you, which artefact or other MMORPG prize would you hope to find in your box?

Comments

I like the idea of a random artefact prize in every box.

Yaaaaaar, but I also really like the spoon idea.

i agree

I fancy what you said!

THIS!!! OMG YES THIS!!!!

code words to unlock arties that wouldn't be accessible otherwise? HECK YEAH!!

Win

Temporary tattoos. I'd never shower so my boar wouldn't fade.

YES

If they actually made working healing tattoos, I would LOVE to have one of those. Silly accident prone me.

Spoon of Doom!

hmm

I'd take permanent magical tattoos...always handy ;)

here here, use the hourglass and web one too.

why not make it perma?

because he wouldn't have an excuse not to shower then!

I would most likely find a SPOON OF DOOM!

1) Spoon of Doom
2) Black horse crop of domination
3) Wife tamer (wooden paddle)
4) Husband tamer (wooden paddle) (For me when I misbehave or just because.)

yeees

...

Your household must have interesting mornings.

Credit Crunch

I may eat that.. maybe..

I like this one!

mm

Bracelet of Sustenance, never having to eat or sleep again? Yes please!

Portal Wand

This would be cool becuase I could play more if I didn't need sleep.

This is what would worry me.

I don't eat ceral, but I would for this. I'd never be late for work again.

I would eat cereal three times daily for this.

?

But then you'd have to buy all that cereal that you weren't going to eat.

 

Estarra-O's FTW.

It would be amazing never to have to get caught in traffic again, haha.

and congestion etc etc etc...

I forgot that artifact even existed.

Lol. Would love an IRE cereal box, no matter what prize was in it.

Lets see... Ambrosa of the gods (never have to eat again :D) wings of some sort, and a gilded mirror. Just because I'd enjoy playing mind games with people.

A cereal-box artefact that eliminates the need to eat... could be bad for profits.

 

Cloaking Gem!

Yeah!

Yes please!

sash of caymos, everybody wants more intelagence

 

the irony of this comment is incredible

I saw the above comment and got total LOLZ going.

yup!

+1

Zing!

Just superb

As much fun as it would be to pop open some cereal and find a Transplanar Torus inside, it would probably be smaller things like Golden Lips, Runes of Glassworking, or Runes of the Tobacconist

Something fun yet totally useless

I would want anything with a high trade-in value. I want tri-trans, dammit

hear, hear!

heartpeircer(s) screw buying weapons

Drinking Horn, or just some redeemable credit vouchers would be jusssst fine! :D Or clay flower pot.. Any of them are pretty cool! Some Occultist cereal.. Taste the Taint! >:P

Now I keep imagining eating cereal, then some little 3-inch demon (With all sorts off odd tentacles and shit) popping out, and trying to eat my face.

punch him and get the loot!

Cthuly-Os! Stealing your sanity with every bite. Now with Shoggoth bits!

I like the idea of there always being one, with increasing chance the less value the artifact that. So a 1k artifact would be uber rare, but you could frequently get the cheap stuff like 10 credits worth. Or new artifacts only with the cereal, not too expensive, maybe collectors stuff of some kind like curios.

The ability to come back from the dead? Yes please.

i'd like to see some variety like spinning the wheel, possible chance of death

I'd like to see little figures of the gods and goddesses

That'd be cool!

The little collectible figures would be awesome, but also credit vouchers for small amounts would be great, bound only of course

Oo

I'd so eat cereal more often if their was a ire cereal.

Tattoo needle that lets you ink a tatt on your own body. Also, I don't eat cereal. Yuk.

A hood of the sphinx

Random iron coin artifact would work...

I want to find a hood in my box of "Galle-Os"

I would eat cereal for every meal.

I would force my whole family to start eating cereal for every meal.

I'd buy shares in the cereal company. Price is bound to go up! :P

Cool idea

The photoshopped image is hilarious.

 

And the doctoral cord. Because that's sooo much easier than having to earn a real doctorate.

I think a completely new artifact would be something to really get breakfast attention. Maybe, since it is a breakfast prize it could be something that does have to to with the digestive system. An artifact with appetite control. It can make you never hunger or it can make your enemies hungry all the time. Or perhaps give them anorexia. Such afflictions already exist but care would have to be taken to ensure that game balance is not disturbed.

a gem of Morph ability for those who can't morph :}

a wand of repeating, you can choose whatever day you wish to do over.  can only be used once soooooo...eat up!

a bottle that refills with milk once a day :)

+1

+1

I just love the super spoon idea

What if I already had a super spoon? Could I upgrade it to an Uber Spoon?

I'd expect something pretty random, too. Could range from collectible glass vials with pictures of the Gods to silver fangs or tokens. Wouldn't like the bar of soap near my cereals, though.

 

If the prize comes wrapped up nicely in the box, I wouldn't mind. :3

Um

Shield of Absorption please

An artefact in a box of IRE cereal. That would kind of degrade the value of artefacts, unless said artefact is a globe of shifting hues that we used to buy to get random stuff from when opened. 

Ring of Flying, OMG.

Hell yes please! I wanna get a gem to change race!

Yes please.

 

Gimme a hive!

Probably one of those Shop of Wonders bird eggs. So collectible, but with the novelty wearing out so quickly, so throw-out-able too. I'll trade you for an Armband of Celerity.

Not picky...of course this article has me drooling and not for cereal...

...tokens for having tailored equipement? That would be give great and free personalization possibilities! It is way to lame to get SOA in cereals; what about a pet, then?

Luckily enough, I do not eat cereals (my wife does it avidly, though...) 

With my luck I'd get the tailoring shears I always wanted, then slice my hand taking them out of the box causing me to break the shears when I drop them and a gush of blood which would ruin the cereal.

Coupons for the Evantide. Buy One Entre, Get One Free(Of equal or lesser value)

.

.

 I would like to find something which wasn't an already existing artefact, maybe something that wasn't some huge prize, but something that could be used by anyone. Orrrrr maybe a one time free customization for any item of your choosing?  Possibly a little pet that doesn't die from a group of cereal box only pets.

... other times...

All my credits have gone to skills so far.  I'd be over the moon with any artefact.  I've heard good things about buckawn's.

We might not see an IRE cereal on our shelves in the near future, but wouldn't it be fun if there was a very small chance of pulling a small Sarapis figurine from our promotional stockings once in a while? Or other gods, at random intervals - collect them all!  

 

I'll give you my spare Tecton for your Indrani. No trade-backs. 

heh

do they still make the Clementius or is that one discontinued?  Sorry I just got out of jail, again. 

I think some of the dolls would be very reasonable! But in reality it'd probably be like lips or a cowbell, which are nice since they are worth something, but not the greatest.

I can agree with minor, useless arties like a doll, or that pipe that lets you blow coloured smoke, or Jeremiah Gryphta's Olde Tyme Healing Tonic.

Collar of Lupus..yes..I do have many pets IRL, too. DO NOT JUDGE ME. 

Gem of Cloaking would be lovely. Even a jester on the cereal box. Hmmm, the sweet taste of humor

Lucky clover of critical hits!

Anything could be in a box with a special, redemmable code on the back of an ULTRA MEGA COOL PIN to wear.

Something that could be "crated" so it could be known but traded?

Things everyone would like : vibrating wand, SoA, arte vial....

Bracelet of Sustanence please... or a Diadem

Piccolo of Pests

Tuning fork

I'll take a bottomless tube of toothpaste.  Life time fresh breath for the win.

 

What if inside every box there was a random code for bound credits of 1-25? I'd totally eat the cereal anyways.. but that would be great!

 

hahaha, great!

That can actually be applied in reality and work... it would make sense and it isn't giving away too much at a time... of course artefacts would never be given away in boxes of cereal... jeesh then we would all be buying cereal and no one would buy credits or artefacts hehe... anyway with being able to use a serial code on the box random credit prizes would work wonders.

Oh God. I hope I don't find an Estarra doll in my cereal... I don't think I'd be very hungry after that.

Tsurani shield rune in my box!!

yes please

Just be very careful when opening the box!

experience in the box?

Pft

Come now...Stockings give that already ;)

sounds like the stocking!

as has been said, stocking!

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.

!

?

Pretty much anythng good in the box would sell lots of ceral to gamers. Oh it would help if the ceral didn't tast like crap too but taste is not really necessary.

Does ceral = cereal somewhere? Someone else posted that too, earlier. o.O

I don't buy cereal without a cartoon mascot.  It's a personal principle thing.  So if you had a little cartoon Smith called "Phaestus-O's" or like a little Twilight called "Darkness Crunch" then I wouldn't care what came in it.

Phaestus Pebbles was one of the cereal tossed around the idea room.

Odd

I can feel my wallet getting lighter and my pantry filling with an over abondance of these tastey hammer shaped treats.  

everything

They fade so fast and it would be nice to just find one in your cereal box to replace it.

Just as long as I don't have to save up on proofs of purchase before I have to redeem my prizes!!!

and everything

What a prize! Every artifact crammed in there, including the auction only ones. Why, there'd be no room for cereal!

Well who would feel like eating cereal after finding that anyway?

It won't be a dagger of reincarnation. could hurt.

Hmm... Daggers of reincarnation sound like a good prize. Decent credits-worth, and good if you want to try somethign new.

I'd still prefer Gem of Transmutation..multiuses, pays for itself.

thoths dirk, r whatever the lvl 3 arti dirk is

perhaps somthing for constitutaion

Tee

Hee

A charm of clangorum for a breakfast cereal that takes care of hangovers too

Lots of free stuff

Living in Minnesota these things would come in real handy.

Keyring

after the new statpacks in Achaea, i totally want a gem of reincarnation now

^

^ x 1000

Definately.

really know which arti

 

A Fudkin action figure!

Or voodoo doll

I'd want an Amulet of the Underking. The opposite of the max level Wings.

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Language permits, with insta-learning !

This would be so great.  I suck at other languages.  it'd be instant fluency.

that would be great

I used to get prizes from cereal boxes like you.

 

 

Then I took an arrow to knee.

An arrow to silence the peon Agrias. 

I doubt there would be real artefacts, but maybe something like lesson vouchers would be nice. Or enchanted rings? I could do with some RL waterwalking shoes too, it's pouring outside.

Rune of Vernal Blasting please

We don't have Atavians in Lusteria, it should be Faerie Wings instead of Atavian Wings, we have no Atavians. Trill Wings would have made sense.

Jar

Cereal jar? Seems fitting.

Anything would be a bonus surprise.

The Phantom Mask.

Atavian wings or a grimmoire clunking out of the cereal box would be great!

How about the ability to create your own customizable artifact, then you could have something no one else has.

Got it! I'd want to have the Pyramid that lets you teleport random.....no. I have a better idea! I'd want the dagger of reincarnation...no!!! The gender-switchy-loo! Ugh! TOO MANY!!!!

Gender-switchy-loo? I can see there being problems with kids getting ahold of those.

maybe a teleportation item

Agreed

Paradox Puzzle: 500 credits
- Use the PYRAMID command to operate.
- Can be set to memorize up to 4 locations.
- Allows operator to teleport to these 4 locations
(up to adjacent planes).
- Locations unset every Lusternian month.

School, home, home #2, and a free space for fun things.

I want a lucky clover

.

.

Random artefacts, multiple boxes.

I would like to get a Bracelet of Sustenance! Would be handy.

 

But rather counterproductive, I suppose, for a cereal company to be putting in their cereal boxes....

wand of portals, cloak of shroud, ring of flying

heh

heh

lol

lol

i want to fly

i'd keep buying the cereal to collect them all

Wait a minute, are we getting the artifact in-game or in real life?

 

If it was in-game

I would probably have to go with a sword that shouts "DIE <insert enemy race here>!!!" and nearly leap out of my hand towards the enemy whenever a city enemy enters my room or I enter their room. It would save my a LOT of trouble (would probably double my survival rate), and would probably be worth a lot of credits. Other than that I would want a teleportation orb for the trade-in credits (It cost about 1600 credits last time).

 

If it was in real life

I would have to go with the Tsuarani teleportation orb with 8 locations to choose from, if I had to choose one from what have previously appear. Either that or the top intelligence artifact. If I could win any artifact imaginable in real life I would have to go with an orb of infinite metamorphoses, allowing me to change into whatever I wanted as often as I wanted. That way I could turn into a bird, fly around for a while and then turn back to eat.

Actually, I change my mind. I want level 80 - no food/sleep.

+1 for teleport

credit crunch is a great idea

 

I would want one of those stockings from last logosmas

Yeah, I missed that one. A language slot would also be cool

 

The ever refilling barnacle encrusted bait bucket...customized for ocean bait!

This article hurt the roof of my mouth, funnily enough.

lol.

Veil of the Sphinx

Can I get a humgii? Need something to feed all the extra cereal I would have to get to.

Ha.

And keep it in your basement? Poor humgii!

need a new article. My posts are becoming less and less relevent each day

puzzle pyramid/wand of portals/torus.  I don't drive. these would help out emensly.

I can start in on the zombie apocalypse before I even die and become one.

the ability to grow a third arm and wield another blade?

Or perhaps to wield another spoon, for those who like to maintain a steady supply of nourishment.

Would the third spoon be an artie too?

For some reason MILKing seems appropriate.

One of the quick-travel artifacts would be sweet.

I don't eat cereal.

 

They need to post more of these inane articles. Posting multiple comments to the same one feels... actually it feels about equally trashy the second time.

I love cearal 

Win the Baelgrim De-Luxe action playset! With working new-years sound effects!

Dagger of reincarnation.

A horn of plenty. Why buy cereal again when I have infinite food as a prize?

Gem of Transmutation please! I feel like reincarnating.

I'd want the brooch of a changeling.. something to try if I wanted to try a different race, with out using my one free reincarnation.

Comment

Keyring, because that's almost always what I get. 

Tumblin dice.  

Tumblin dice.  

double xp orb, no doubt

anythin at all

A parmenant tattoo token.

I really liked the idea of a tradable pin to wear.

Quick travel artefacts. And the +3 stat arties.

 

Heh, I hope it doesn't make me lame that I'd buy Iron Realms Cereal if there were IG credit prizes inside. :3

 

Hive hive hive

Hrm

Maybe. Extra honey :P

Landstrider boootssss

Definately a Torus. Set one to my home and use the rest to go to all the best cities in the world.

Tanris style wings but to my favourite countries. I wouldn't object to a multi million pound ship either!

Whatever I HOPED for...I'd just be getting the same cheapest arti there was...or nonarti vial consolation prize :P

...or so, which lets me skip my turn in washing the dishes without any penalties (i.e. dirty plates, complaining girlfriend)

 

I'm usually happy with anything I get for free, tho.

Any artifact apart from a flowerpot, vial, syringe or keyring.

Hearts stars horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots of gold and rainbows, and me vitality anhk.

Likely Midkemia's rune of sustenance....which allows the character to not become hungry or tired believe

Hmm

Anything would work I suppose. Though i don't really eat that much cereals..

Gloves of Harvesting would be nice

Wings

haha

I would buy this cereal so, so fast

Hopefully a brand new pair...would be disturbing and disgusting if it wasn't.

Wing flakes

Landstrider boots would be nice.

One that gives me immortality

I know I aint really gonna get anything in my cereal so I will settle for this free credit here.

QFT

QFT

Ditto

^

^

Wings, wings, eagle wings! Or veil..

That one

A bag with a never ending supply of gold.

I'll take one of these, please!

I'll take one too - as long as its not 1 gold a day

 

I'd still take it, if it were free. One gold > no gold. It adds up over time. Very slowly. But it does.

A tophat! Good luck getting the cereal out

funny picture.

I think that sipping rings should be included. It would remind me of the way cereal used to be!

An artefact spork!

Being able to fly around would be fun.

Blood pendant.

 

... What?

mango

more mango

Curios seem like good cereal items.

Easy

 

Why do some people want landstrider boots? Just get a flying ring and fly in the wilderness to go regular speed, rather than the reduced speed from the boots. Unless, you play a different IRE game or something, should just want the flying ring instead!

because

 

1. You don't get blown off-course when walking.

2. Landstrider boots are arties, and when added with waterwalking, you never have to worry about crossing water rooms ever again.

3. Flying rings cost gold.

4. Flying is for pu*****.

an assassin's unseen mark would be nice, being able to murder people without the cops using deathsight and stuff.

Artifact of phasing.

blah

A shield would be ulrtimate

eagle wings

Dagger of reincarnation would be nice?

an upgrade to eagle wings: duanathar should be usable from anywhere on the main continent.

Because my cereal is Smokey-O's

Nothing better to boost an appetite

circle of friends.

 

wait

Atavian wings.

Wings

 

credit comment

I agree that a random artefact would be pretty neat.

decoder ring

A Dragon Lord artifact so there would be more than one in game. Wish there were more Valheru around, fight the gods!

Dingbat items seem closer to what is actually in cereal boxes. Gnafia decoder ring? Bubble pipe, bouncing vials, and fickle finger of fate seem like they could potentially come out of a cereal box.

 

Though honestly  if this was a RL thing and if it was priced right and even if it had like small value credit vouchers inside, I would consider buying it. Just make sure it tastes good. Whats the use of slapping your brand on low quality stuff?

mostly because i don't like eating cereal with my hands.  And it would make it extra-nutritious.

Bizarre idea. I doubt you'll get many new players out of those who arrive here searching/googling for the cereal.

of quickening

Yum

Starburst flask, nothing like adding more marshmellows to the fray.

Umm

Every arte!

I would like the Spork of Doom please

This commenting is getting tedious.

Yes it is.

credit

credit!

Hmm

Moss, Boar and Starburst, Shield and a Moon! Plus a Cloak and Mindseye, Cereal Tattoos!

It's a great idea for IRE to go into a cereal business. Would be a perfect advertising for its games.  Pieces could have shapes of various races.  Imagine the crowds creating new characters!

A soggy veil

Temporary hourglass and web tattoo. *nods*

a good one

a good one..

Credit comment.

Presents can get you artifacts. Now we just need to add cereal...

Changling chameo.

I want a horn of 'Dystroyer of Worlds Summoning'.

If IRE was making the cereal, probably a circle of friends.

wings yo

any prize at all is a good one, but a cubix would be extra-awesome. Even a torus.

also artefact pet

I'd totally hope to find goggles of whitesight, cause that'd be helpful in Canada. Or else, an ivory statue, cause I'm gonna need all the friends I can get if I've come to the point of literally eating, sleeping and living Iron Realms. Though it would be fun to find a transmute Gem.

The Landstrider boots

I would love a wand of portals in real life! I'm currently on my year abroad from university so I'm pretty far from my friends and family. I'd love to be able to portal to them!

Greater Rune of Divine Zap Reflection.

Wand of portals is nice too. Anything that reduces travel time.