Should Polygamous Marriages Be a Part of MMORPGs?

Polygamy Parody

Recently I overheard my son and his friends discussing someone named Kody who just obtained a fourth wife and a sixteenth child. Since turning thirteen he’d been known to dabble here and there in Iron Realms text games, so of course I logged into the one my son plays to HONOURS KODY and re-read HELP MARRIAGE. Obviously I’d missed an update, right? Wrong! Imagine my surprise when he wasn’t talking about a fantasy MMORPG, but real life!

 

TLC’s popular polygamous reality series, Sister Wives, tracks the life of Kody Brown and his multiple marriages. After perusal of a few different websites on both the television show and the concept of polygamy in general, it made me wonder...how would polygamy affect characters in the games produced by Iron Realms? Is it something that would be a welcome change compared to how marriage is currently handled? Would my character even be involved in a polygamous relationship?

 

Polling MMORPG Gamers

In researching information for this article, another author and I approached different characters, randomly selecting four males and four females in each of the five games for a grand total of forty different ones. After explaining our purpose and asking their permission to use their answers to compile information here, we proposed the following questions:

 

  • Is polygamy a feature you would like to see in games produced by Iron Realms?
  • If allowed, would you become involved in a polygamous marriage?
  • Would you become involved in a polyamorous relationship?
  • Have you ever been involved in a polyamorous relationship?

Polygamy chart

 

As you can see from the results charted on the above line graph, males and females were pretty equal about whether to add polygamy as an option for virtual couples in Iron Realms games. However, a few more females than males were willing to become involved in a polygamous relationship. Why? Jealousy was the number one reason males gave for avoiding multiple marriages. Despite the stereotype that females are the more jealous gender, males were quick to own up to their feelings of possessiveness. As one Imperian male character stated, “No way in hell. I want to be the only man in my wife’s life and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want me taking on more wives.” While none of them came out and said it, I’m pretty sure none of the males questioned relished the thought of multiple weeks of PMS, either.

 

The questions also explored polyamorous relationships, which currently can -- and often do -- happen within games, including the ones produced by Iron Realms. Twenty more percent of males than females admitted that they would become involved in a committed relationship that included a third-party. However, less than half the females interviewed confessed to having actually done so. One Achaean female explained, “It boils down to the fact that I really haven’t found anyone my character loves enough to share that kind of relationship with. I’m sure it would be super intimate but it would take a lot of trust between the three of us to be anything more than a glorified threesome.”

 

Wait..MMORPG Polygamy Isn't New?

Polygamy certainly isn’t new to Iron Realms. In 1999 Achaea experienced its first multiple marriage, between the characters Gijan, Snow, and Anniara. Discussed on the forums  in 2006, and the thread explored excellent points on the topic. How would it affect honors lines? Would it be similar to how marriage works now, which is slightly different in each game, or would it require players to buy a special artifact -- like the ones available in Achaea that hide a character’s divorce record or age.

 

Besides the technical changes that introducing polygamy would require in Iron Realms games, there are also social ramifications to consider. Rou, a character in Aetolia, thinks it’s a good idea, because “It would create more opportunity for diversity, roleplay, and interpersonal relationships.” There are also downsides to the idea. Besides jealousy rearing its ugly head, the potential also exists to turn straight and narrow bloodlines into complex spider webs linking players between various families.

 

It’s obvious that the potential for polygamy within Iron Realms text games exists, but to what extent? What other pro’s and con’s can you think of that weren’t mentioned here? Your comments are welcome in the space below. And don’t forget to add your voice to our poll!

 

Author: Sid Jennings

Editor: Tony Celentano

 

Poll: 
Should Polygamous Marriages be Allowed In-Game?

Comments

Were a lot harder before they invented the TMOTE.

The TMOTE is awesome

That made me chuckle(not from personal experience).

^^

Haha, never even considered that. Wouldn't surprise me if that was the main reason the TMOTE was invented :)

So when will this be implemented?

Though would be interesting

You shall see!

Hmm

Others already mentioned it but I do believe there are other things more important then this.. It's like asking for a third gender... >.> <.<

It's already happened time and again. May as well just make it a thing.

You and I would know quite a lot about that, wouldn't we, Perdy? *innocent whistle*

 

Had they interviewed me they would have found out quite readily that most of my characters have had dabblings in polygamy and polyamory. Daryn, most of all, has held down some rather long, large, and frankly satisfying polygamous relationships. In fact, there was this one time... Daryn was with three different housemates. Whom will, of course, remain unnamed.

 

Also, as anyone who has done BLOODLINE SHOW MILABAR can attest... the bloodline system is already becoming a rather jumbled up web.

Ha!

Ha!

What is this?

HELP EMOTING ---> Interacting with Adventureres.

 

It allows you to make custom emotes that will be seen differently by other people.

 

Example being,

 

It would be written by me as : emote ponders $cadfael promptly before waving to $cadfael_him

 

You see, "Santor ponders you promtly before waving to you."

 

Anyone else in the room would see "Santor ponders Cadfael promtly before waving to him."

 

 

Cringe is my intitial reaction, but I can see where some might think it could enchance roleplay for them. Not sure it's something I'd ever want to do, myself.

I like that attitude. Even if I'll never do it, I don't see why it should deprive anyone else who wants to do it to.

I said "No" simply because I would like them to focus on other, more imporant, coding efforts. The great thing about RP is you don't HAVE to have code updates to do whatever you feel like doing.

ja

I would agree to this, and Lusternia's family system is complex enough, as is we have so many family issues.

it'd totes depend on my character!

YUP

YUP

This kind of marriage can be very beneficial. Many other societies do it quite successfully. Of course they are very mature about it, whereas others might do it for questionable reasons. If this existed in America we would have a lot less single mothers out there and less children growing up without a father. I view this as potentially a very great thing. Of course the male would have to be a good provider. The advantages for the male and female in this kind of relationship go without saying. Although any man that goes through with this would be very wise not to anger his wives! I can definitely picture a marriage like this working if love and respect exist in the relationship.

The idea that a law changing to allow for multiple spouses would make it so that there would be less single moms out there is offensive. If a man is going to leave the woman he has fathered a child upon, being able to marry multiple women is not going to make him stick around. The only reason I can fathom for you assuming he would is that he'd be able to 'mess around' with multiple women, and so would not feel as inclined to roam. If that is the case, then the man in question would still be just as likely to leave- only now he'd be leaving multiple women instead of just the one.

Someone who looks at polygamy as a way to be able to have sex with multiple partners and 'get away with it' has no clue what polyamory and polygamy actually are- they're just looking for sex and haven't got the maturity or respect needed for relationships such as that to work. Polyamory- and polygamy by extension- require enormous levels of trust, respect, and love with all parties involved. It can be an amazingly fulfilling relationship to be a part of when it is handled correctly, and as someone pointed out in the article- nothing more than a glorified three(four/five/?)some when handled incorrectly.

 

- In response to another poster-

Of course women would be permitted to have multiple husbands. Code is not sexually repressed, misogynistic, or sexist- and don't get your knickers in a twist I'm not calling you any of those things, however the religions where polygamy were a staple of life most certainly are. Code has no recognition for gender on it's own, it would take additional coding to force it to differentiate between male and female, and if the extra lines were added to make it so that women wouldn't have the same rights as men, IRE would be breaking it's own rules.

I have nothing else to say that Tahni hasn't said better.

Well I can tell you for a fact THIS man would not leave his wives. Some men leave and some don't. Most of the men I know that left women were brought up in broken homes and never had a good model for what constitutes a good relationship. I don't approve of them leaving, but at the same time they don't know any better. The other men that left their women and kid were not respected by their woman and in turn they did not love her (Blame goes both ways on this btw. Not taking sides). There is a endless circle of love and respect that is intrinsic to all successful relationships. I personally believe I could make a marriage work with multiple partners. I am a firm believe that respect, love, and open communication are the keys to a successful relationship. That is just my own personal experience. Accept it or reject it.

I guess I just see no good reason why a marriage that includes multiple partners can't be equally beneficial to all involved parties. Yes, of course sex is a perk! If the man is a good husband, a good provider, and father then what does the rest matter? I know it is weird, but it doesn't have to be! Plus no man in their right mind is going to piss off all his wives and you know they'll team! heh heh Oh boy...just opened a can of worms on this one! :)

Agreed

Nicely said!

...said. I completely agree, couldn't have said that better myself.

I agree with Tahni.

No

Speaking as a person living in a country where cultural polygamy is allowed in terms of customary law, I can safely say that polygamy does -not- decrease the number of single mothers out there.

 

ETA: Tahni summed it up nicely.

 

Robert Jordan I think. They have sister wives. Some women love each other and respect each other enough to become sisters and to share husbands. It would all be about respect, there would be no room for jealousy. Respect goes a long way in any relationship and friendship.

Wow

BINGO! Nixxe hit the nail on the head :)

This is a good way of looking at relationships and would solve a lot of love-triangle issues!

What people choose to do on their own, whether it's one or four partners of either sex, is up to them and they are free to do as they choose, but I don't see why it needs to be hardcoded in-game. Even this Kody Brown is only married to one, while the others are "spiritual unions".

I do support open-mindedness and individual freedom. But I also think that there are more problems inherent in real-life polygamy than most realize (and I'm not just talking about exploited underage girls) and TLC has a history of "prettying up" rather horrifying practices.

ETA: I real the Wheel of Time as well, and I'm not sure it always works that smoothly. There's also the question of whether or not polygamy is always so one-sided in gender - if women are expected to co-operate, could "brother husbands" work just as well?

ETA2: Also, what about the idea of multiple women and men in one relationship? How far are we talking about here? :p

I agree, do not think it needs to be hardcoded if people actually want to do it.

^

Agreed

 I totally want a harem

Marriages and other relationships aren't something I participate in much. But why should it matter?

What a silly article...

"The potential also exists to turn straight and narrow bloodlines into complex spider webs linking players between various families."

 

You mean it's not that way NOW?

Yeah it is a mess, not only that, you also have the people that don't use these constructs who are 20 and have a 18 year old daughter, or that is how they are ... introduced to me.

 

Oh, goodness, some people don't understand biology at all.

That part made me chuckle. There's nothing straight and narrow about bloodlines, although from what I've seen Lusternia's are somewhat better than Achaea's.

I'd rather see Iron Realms branch out from the "everyone is basically humanoid" mold first.

That would be pretty interesting to see.

Think of how irritatingly complicated it is to tolerate ONE person.  However, I believe that masochism is a personal choice.  Go ahead and make it possible. If nothing else, the drama that forms could be amusing.

Ha! Yet I'm surprised by the number of positive votes.

i voted yes. people can do what they want. i'm not against gay marriage IRL, but i think if you're going to open that up then you can't really limit it to just men/women women/women men/men...should be whatever combination people want, as long as they're human of course :D

Beg your pardon, Jennings, but perhaps a bar graph would have displayed your data more effectively.  My brain kept trying to find the rate of change of something.

that's funny

I've seen a good number of twisted harems in IRE games, but none of them were actually official affairs. I'm not against the concept of polyamory, but IG I think I prefer being able to remain blissfully oblivious to what goes on behind closed text doors! I voted no.

where's my credit

 

all the persons in the marriage agree, and all of them have to agree to each "newcomer".

aye

Yeah, why not? I mean, just because it is there doesn't mean I have to use it. But I'm sure it fits into some people's concepts.

I agree. This is fair.

make sure you keep the technical impacts balanced.

 

Beyond that, it just adds a dynamic that would be good for and enjoyed by some people and ignored by others.

Nah

I don't think it should be allowed because then every person in the game would end up related to each other by blood..with polygamy means you should be able to bloodline more than one set of parents...that'd be really odd and require rediculous amounts of coding and whatnot.

why would you be able to bloodline more parents? Bloodlining goes by a strict biology-based system. You already can't bloodline more than one father or mother.

 

Though being able to record adoptive parents in the system would be good, especially with this

not my thing

That's really all I can say. I honestly can't see a drawback to this system. I also can't see the drawback in letting people running around in fur costumes yiffing. Just wanted to establish my perspective.A minority will exploit this for copious amounts of roleplay. A majority will use this as some sort of textual scoreboard for the number of lolconquests. At this point you really have to take up the argument of why not? Psst, gold sink approaching.

 

Personally? Most people fail miserably at dealing with one wife/husband. Why complicated it and fail twice as hard?

Completely.

I think it's safe to say that people like to have personalize their characters, and this is another avenue that allows people to separate themselves from everyone else.  Some people go through the lengths of leveling using only quests to establish their character type.  This would allow for more customization.  I like it.

never thought about it honestly.

hmm

hmmm

hmm

hmmm

Why bother with the marriage in the first place at that point

To insert polygyny into the IRE games, you would have to make sure that it fits into the overall RP of the game. For instance, Achaea is heavily based in ancient greek and norse mythology. However, polygyny may not have been accepted in those societies. I know that it was frowned on, but allowed for a period in Greece until the Roman Catholic Church came when it was banned. As for Norse, as far as I can tell it was not allowed, but it was a bit harder finding information about polgyny in that culture. Point is, if it doesn't fit into the overall RP of the game, it wouldn't make much sense to add it in.

can't say not to exclude polygamy because this game is based on mythology. because we have a lot in our game that really couldn't be further from the myth.

See the pros and cons. I've even been in a polygomous relationship as well, but my fears about it is that there would become 'niches' in the marriage. I.e. the wife(s) or husband(s) spending more time with another than the other. Love is built on trust, commitment and spending time together, how romantic is it for one wife to be left out in the cold while the other gets wined and dined? Or vice versa for the guy. So I'm left in the undecided catagory. Don't get me wrong this would fit perfectly into the roleplay of the games, but I don't think it would be for everyone.

I have to agree with this...it's not for everyone. It likely wouldn't be for me. People have mentioned that it would require a lot of trust, respect, and love to make it work and that's in REALITY, not even a text game where people don't feel as inhibited or restricted as they elsewise would.

 

In Lusternia, there are a few relationships like that, and I've noticed they get A LOT of flak. Imagine if it was out there in the open, officially pronounced in their honours - would it lessen or increase the antagonism? People are very opinionated, and often cruel, when donned with the mask of anonymity.

 

I voted 'yes', not because it would be a personal choice for me, but because people CAN make it work and enjoy that kind of relationship and there's no reason to discriminate.

If people are in love, let them marry.

 

Though yes, the coding would suck.

I wasn't expecting to ever be discussing polygamy in iron realms. yet here we are.

It's actually something that never crossed my mind before. IRL, I prefer monogamy, but polygamy in Achaea would add some really interesting dimensions to the game.

 

But I agree with some other comments: coding it would probably be hell.

bloodlines are already screwed

This.

:D

nice

A wild comment appears!

Quickly, throw a credit-ball at it!

 

That being said, bloodlines are complex spider webs already. 

Yes

Let's just try

It's pretty much up to the people to decide and that should be the way

it is a good idea.

 

loves a woman, and a woman, and a woman :)

You know what, I have been pushing for this, coded polygamous marriages, since, like, 2006. Of course, at the time, it was primarily going to be used for what we in Aetolia call "snugglies," people whose only goal is MUDsex. Today, though...yeah, pretty much still the same demographic.

well, beats them just being sex-alts

no

Why not, can't be worse then horrible furry sex.

So I can't say. Relationships over a text game are quite... unique.

people should get to decide who they want to hump

"No wrong way to love," as the motto goes.

 

And lets just leave it at that.

 

:)

:)

I'm in the middle. Not a big deal if its not not a big deal if it is.

Hmm

Not much to say about this article, except the picture made me fall out of my seat and laugh.

found the picture incredibly funny

Yes! Laughed out loud.

Tel would definitely love multiple husbands. :P
Not that she's been successful in getting one though.

Multiple wives would be nice

Oh gods, the bickering... and it's worse for multiple husbands, what with the ego.

This is an excellent point and therefore I condemn polygamy!

That should be a bar graph, having lines connecting the points is a complete nonsense.  Also your sample size is tiny. /pedant

Why not? Let people do what they want!

I'd like to say no as I doubt I would do it, myself. But I'd rather not get into people's ways for something I would prefer not to. Let them do what they want to. Plus yeah, you can just RP it out.

This is a super interesting article.

In RL, polygamous marriages lead to very complicated issues as to inheritance rights, child support, child raising and so many other problems that are hard to deal with, legally speaking. All these issues are so complicated that I cannot list them in a post and I am not here to debate that. In RL I am kind of educated in the matter.

However, as to RPG, polygamy can lead to extremely funny situations and very nice roleplaying, that's why I voted yes!

I vote "not concerned"! People can do whatever it is they want, including roleplaying their own polygamous marriages.

I don't really care. I'm married IRL so not seeking one or three wives in game.

Heh, I know plenty who could make use of this. 

I don't see this as a pressing concern.

Personally I can see it getting messy but I'm all for everyone being able to explore how they wish to roleplay.

I'm not too keen on marriage to begin with... The idea of trying to handle more than one marriage partner is challenging in real life. I just can't see it working in a game and it ending well.

 

Roleplay, for me, only works if everyone arround you is accepting what you're doing, however outlandish. I see more outlandishness than polygamy accepted, so I don't think it'll matter!

the best line in that was:

I’m pretty sure none of the males questioned relished the thought of multiple weeks of PMS, either.


I found that funny.

 

As for polygamy, Guys with multiple wives are usually mormons of some sort. While women with multiple husbands isn't even heard of in the real world.

So IG I wonder how it would go with a woman marrying multiple men. I have a feeling the jealousy would get out of control as the men competed for her attention. The woman could make out like a bandit by this though as men have a tendency to purchase gifts for the women they love. So I can imagine a woman receiving alot of gifted artifacts from a venture like this. Which would then be percieved as using the men, and slowly trickle into resentment and slander of the woman until she probably started snubbing mass amounts of people/issuing people, etc.

 

But hey ladies, give it a shot.... I really would love to know if my predictions are correct or way off.

I personally wouldnt try to marry multiple women, it would be too much RP work to keep their needs met. (Time spent with each one, etc) We did have some freaky player in lusternia who had a harem of aslaran girls at his side. Now most of the girls were fresh out of the portals it seemed. And he somehow managed to manipulate them like a cult. It was insane, I applaud him for his RP and managing it though I found it a little creepy. (No offense to this player, who had very rational reasons behind this harem)

Joke or not, I actually object to that particular line on a small level.

 

First of all, to have to survive through several weeks of PMS, the man in question would need to be married to far more than 2-4 wives, since PMS does not typically last a week. It lasts a day, maybe three days if you're one of those extra lucky women.

 

Second, it's really kind of irritating when a woman's poor mood/attitude/whatever is blamed on PMS, whether it's a guy or the woman herself doing the blaming. Sometimes women, like men, just have bad days, get stressed, and have legitimate (or not-so-legitimate) reason for whatever is being blamed on PMS.

 

Third, every woman is different, YMMV, etc.

 

Fourth, women's periods totally sync up. So, if you're making sister-wives or whatever out of 2-4+ women, and if they each made you dread their PMS time, chances are you'll eventually only need to deal with the normal number of days of it!

polygamy with several huusbands sharing a single wife can be found in Tibet.

 

also, women who live together tend to synch their menses.

 

So... sorry to burst your bubble.

On the topic of the blog post's actual content, I find it an interesting question. I'm currently involved in a tabletop RPG wherein our characters are running around a polygamist (and slave-owning, and hedonistic, and caste-like) society, and we as players are grappling with a lot of really intriguing and difficult morality issues.

 

The matter of polygamy is, interestingly, the social issue we handle and accept easiest. Multiple wives? Concubines? Sure, who cares, when a thief's hands are removed as punishment for the crime, when there are weird-as-heck slave abolitionists running around murdering people, when assassins are trying to kill half the party members and the entire royal family, when ghosts are animating skeletons and attempting to compel you to let them take your child-Prince's life?

 

Much the same crazy brand of stuff happens in IRE games. Cut-throat politics, religious wars, theft, murder, feats of incredible magic only your imagination can properly depict... what's polygamy in the face of all this? Besides the code effort, why actually care in these fantastical worlds?

Such marriages definitely SHOULD be added to the games. That is something that some of us always wanted to experience and games are created to give people that feeling, to allow them to experience something they otherwise couldn't.

No one agrees?

yes

of course!

very much. Even if people don't choose to utilise it, option should be present.

While my particular characters wouldn't have any inclination to participate in polygymous marriage, I think it would be a unique twist to games that follow a more social norm of monogamy. I, personally, have no qualms over how many people someone marries if they choose to marry that many people. Of course, it might benefit the MUD if the amount of people you could marry was limited, so not everyone married...well, everyone.

 

It offers a chance to add stigma to something new, creating a new dynamic in the game. I'm all for it.

Sounds like it'd be too much hassle. I mean, managing one woman can be hard enough, why would you want to try and keep two or more happy? D:

Ambivalent on the subject, kinda renders marriage obsolete in a way though

Tear down the heteronormative monogamous paradigm, wooo!

Speaking my language, here.

It's a bad idea in real life but for the game, I can't see it hurting anything.

That was my thought exactly. I don't think I personally will be doing any kind of marriage though.

People said the same about same gender marriages probably at one point but the real world is still spinning. ;)

good for the free credit

Eh, some characters could well get into it, I suppose. I can see it getting messy though...and people getting greedy. I know I would be >.>

For everyone!! I don't think it would work in a game like MKO, where in the background setting women are typically subservient traditional princess needing to be rescued types. In a game like Aetolia, why not? I mean WTF do undead blood suckers care about moral constraints?

Its a fantasy world, why not right?

RPing that should be enough, I prefer that the devs spend some time on really useful new things / bug fixes !

I voted no

what good reasoning. I see your point

If anything it should be allowed in an MMORPG

Different strokes for different folks, but of all the roleplay opportunities in IRE games, I find the least interesting aspects buried in the marriage system, monogamous or otherwise.

I concur

I can't see polygamy fitting into Lusternia very well. You could RP it if you wanted, but coding it in? We have a pretty strict family system that Estarra is very proud of. Easing the restrictions on joining a family probably wouldn't fly.

Hmm

I don't see a problem with it... honestly. The RP that could stem from it. Besides - Amalia is somewhat in a polygamous relationship. 

But I don't care if others too. Imagine all the drama though. MMORPG's aren't RL, no matter how much we wish they were. Aetolia especially is dark, so why not? Could make things interesting if nothing else.

Sure, it's not worth putting substantial coding effort into, but there's no reason not to allow it (and I doubt it'd take a lot of coding to make it able to handle it.)  There's no reason a fictional universe should be bound to real-world mores, and that goes just as much for the number of spouses as for their gender.

It's allowed like it is in most countries when more than one person commits to another.

I guess as long as all partners are okay with it >.>

Well, it would give people more of a reason to get the veil Mayan Crown artifact.  Someone could get married to a group of five and then divorced and suddenly: She has been divorced five times.  Rinse and repeat once or twice... and well... it suddenly looks like someone has the record for bad marriages.

It happened in real life so why can't it happen here? As long as people do not take things oocly I am sure things can lead to interesting scenarios.

I'll marry a billion people! A BILLION! >:V

Agghh..do you know how horrible that would be? Its already as if everyone is related to each other. The bloodlines are LONG, and very confusing. We just might actually be related to everyone if that happens.

Bloodlines are already a nasty, intervoven web (read: mess). This would just add to the confusion.

It has the potential to lead into very interesting RP, but at the same time it has a high risk of producing sex harems (which are prone to being not-really-positive RP).

This is what RP is for, not coding.

I think it would be pretty unneccessary.

there should be no absolute bar to its existing in the game world, as long as people are not being harmed.

I don't see why it shouldn't be in IRE games, but I really don't care whether it makes it in or not.

Why not? Throw it in.

I am pretty ambivelant on the matter.

 

screw it. Just to lay it out for the world to see. Faustine is a self-defined polyamorous character in a monogamous relationship. As far as she's concerned, polyamory is as much a part of her sexuality as her bisexuality, and just because she's not currently taking part of it, it doesn't make it any less a part of her, much as the fact that she's currently with a woman doesn't mean she doesn't like men.

In those early days, before she "settled down" the idea of marrying multiple partners appealed. If she and her fiancee found someone exceptional enough that they both wanted to bring them in as a part of their relationship, she'd probably want to marry both of them. Having the option of openly doing so, without having whispers and rumors of infidelity, would make that so much easier.

So yeah, bit of a vested interest in this one.

I don't see why there would be any issue adding it. it adds a totally new dimension for characters and orgs... (I could totally imagine Shallam being all one and one. It's not one and two!!))

So what will a yes mean for people who are already married? Can they marry again or what?

From all the comments, how come polygamy is mostly seen as 'one husband multiple wives'? It could be the other way round too!

Any changes permitting multiple marriages would have to include both sexes and same sex marriage.  Otherwise the attractiveness of the ingame option would lose its luster pretty quickly.

I think the biggest issue for me would be the family.  How would you decide which parents would be the bloodlined parent for a child?  It could cause a lot of rifts, especially when only one mother and father can be listed, but perhaps all of the parents are involved and invested in the child, and yet having 4 mothers, only 1 can be officially listed.  Could be officially tough for the others.

Biological reality rules as well as first come first served (pun unintended).  I have several adoptive children (and all down the generations) becasue i was to late to be their biological parent.  I love them in roleplay just as much as any parent would.

Another ingame option to consider could be adopted parents (with fees to make it worth Achaea's programing time)

In a lot of ways it doesn't matter, although I support the concept of multiple partner marriages.  Jealousy is going to rear its ugly head regardless - a lot of players are just too possessive.  A better thing to do is to be honest at the outset and tell anyone interested in you that they are just the "squeeze of the moment".and to reciprocate same when they wander off to other trysts.

In Faustine's adventures she had three rules:

1) Never get involved with someone already involved in a monogamous relationship no matter what.

2) Always be honest and upfront about the type of relationship you wanted, make sure any new lover knows about the existance of others.

3) Always extend the same freedoms you, yourself, enjoy to your partners.

 

Seemed to work pretty well. One guy did get jealous but even that was in a passive agressive way. No one ever had a -good- reason to get angry at her. Everyone knew what they were getting themselves into, and she was never a homewrecker.

I have a whole new respect for Faustine. It takes a lot to play a character that's so out of the box, and to be upfront and honest about it. In a fantasy realm where backstabbing and jealousy are too often the norm, I wish more were as upfront as you are.

We are playing a fantasy game here so it shouldn't matter if it is legal or not for us there shouldn't be any reason why it can't be brought out in our great game. If that is what people want to do more power to them.

Yor doing this tommorow right! :)

lol

lol

"Besides jealousy rearing its ugly head, the potential also exists to turn straight and narrow bloodlines into complex spider webs linking players between various families."

The idea that bloodlines in Achaea are anything but "complex spiderwebs" is hilarious. On a more serious note, maybe the player base could handle polygamous marriage, but there really doesn't seem to be a need for it.

even if thee is no need, more player options for rp is always good

It's quite possible now to RP polygamous marriage, just as same-sex couples can RP adopting a child. You simply don't get a little line in your HONOURS.

There is no reason to do it, you can just do it with RP..

A simple no, because family trees already branch out to the point of some families not evening knowing their own family members at all

I love Robin Hood! Easily my favorite of the Disney characters. Way to bag six early-teen to young-adult women, there, Foxy.

Family trees would be even weirder and loop in on themselves more than they already do :/

How? If its only by blood then it should be clearer.

You're just not a great house unless you have at two incestuous relationships.

I hadn't even thought of this, but yes, incestuous relationships would confuse the family system a lot more with polygamous marriages in place.

 

In addition to this, I think time coding could be better spent on other features. I do not believe it is a necessary RP option, and I think it would cause more needless drama for leadership to deal with, involving jealous parties protesting the addition of a new spouse.

Yes, allow it. Why should I limit myself to disappointing one woman when I could disappoint 4!

Yes

I think it would be a good idea

It would be more like RL - people still have a choice if they personally want to enter in to such a relationship.

the polygamous marriage wouldn't necessarily affect bloodlines because technically a child would still only have one mother and one father in the bloodline. plus, have you even really looked at Aetolia's bloodlines? Pretty much everyone is ALREADY intertwined somewhere, somehow. Wouldn't change much.

I find the current family systum confuses me when it branches a lot.  I can't emagin if they coded this in. 

Hey, people want to do that it's fine with me.  Don't agree with it, then don't participate in it.  Why would it be prevented?  It's not like you're going to claim an extra deduction on your tax return because of it.  If anything, it would be the gods that would determine if this is allowed or not.  If you follow a god that does or does not allow it, there you go.

Unconventional, but probably makes for good RP.

Hehe, why not??

This could be interesting to see. Since some of the them are just anthro representations of things that really do exist. The aslaran & lobos could have that 'pack' mentality and theoretically only one top male ( or female).  And hey why not, its all imaginary anyways.

oops

Credit.

I think it should be allowed, and could lead to some interesting RP where Shallam forbids it, Ashtan encourages it, etc.

And it was just a feature rarely used. Could have sworn I'd heard examples of it it in the past. I personally don't have a problem with it, but then I've never bothered with marriage and like RP in the past, so I'm unaffected either way.

And commenting on a way earlier post I'm not going to bother hunting down, their is always, as a rule, room for jealousy. It's the ugliest human emotion for a reason, heh.

I can't wait to have ten wives.

I see no problem with multiple marriages it allows you to have a relationship while others are offline since most of the your commited relationships have a habit of goin dormant and you dont want to leave them because you are so close to them to leave them. Which often leads to cheating on them and in the end hurts the one you loved to begin with.

I think more than half the people I know roleplay out poly relationships anyways. Coding it in would be pretty nifty and useful but essentially unneeded. The characters that do it and people close to them already know what they're up.

guys could not handle 3 wives. or 2, they go crazy with all the fighting :P

kephera hive queen in lusternia

 

awwwwwright!

I don't know if this is fate or what but my character is actually stuck between choosing two women. It so should be allowed so Carlin doesnt have to deal with any more grief and can have both women he loves in his lfe.

So this makes me wonder, who's going to be the "main" spouse? I mean, look at 'Sister Wives', Kody takes on 4 wives. What if one of those wives want multiple husbands? What if that husband also wants multiple wives? What if one of Kody's wives want a wife? This could create a massively confusing mess for not just bloodlines but also for relationships themselves. Too messy for me to consider happily. It's all around just a bad idea.

This is silly.

Wouldn't bloodlines still be just... blood relatives?

Can't see why it should be introduced, who wants to be married to everyone in their harem?

Why not just have the polygamous relationship, but not get married?

I foresee a lot of potential drama, but maybe that's the 'fun' of it for some people I guess. Beyond that I don't really care either way. My character doesn't necessarily adhere to the whole 'one and only' part of marriage, but she'd sure be jealous if her partner was with someone else.

Hypocritical? Maybe, but that's life!

I'm just going to take the credit for this one and not open my mouth..

There's no way I'd be able to have one of these. I can barely keep out of trouble with one wife.

Those who want to can participate in a relationship of 3+ people already.  It seems unnecessary to formalize it.

Eh

I concur, it does seem a little uncessary to formalize it, but I can't imagine the coding would be too hard to change the coding to display a concubine instead of the single person whom they are married to. But I'd rather the administrators spend time coding things like... pets... and bunnies... and rainbows...

I don't know anything good to say about this. Shall keep quiet.

I have no opinion on this. I do not care.

I'm down with it. I could have a RP husband, and a PK husband and a politics husband... Too hard to find someone who checks all to boxes, so Moi never comits to anyone, but if I could have a man for each catagory... ^_^

I voted no, don't think there is any good reason to have polygamy in IRE games.

But it could make for some interesting genealogies.

Just... no. There's no reason, polygamy is generally used to subjugate women in RL, so I wouldn't want to see it in-game. Additionally the 'cheating' and 'jealous' stuff can be RP'd as-is with mistresses and ex-wives and such.

You should make it a cultural thing.  So the men of Mhslador can only look on in envy as the men of Shallam parade their mulitple wives dripping in jewelry down the street.

I think, anthropologically speaking, polygamy existed to cater to the problem of (for example) when the men died in wars and such; you'd have more women but also less children to aid in population growth. In many cultures today polygamy only works if ALL parties agree and are treated fairly and provided for—men and women. Even for divorce, all parties must agree.

 

All things considered Wysteria isn't even bloodlined (content little orphan that she is) but I can see how polygamy might work as a cultural thing in-game. The idea of making one city permit it is kinda interesting actually and quite relevant. Though as everyone mentioned, coding it will be a blithering nightmare (unless said city has a very good record keeper in their midst to write it down in scrolls instead).

 

Either way, I can imagine a lot of people already having "open" relationships so having a hard-coded version would be unnecessary. They can already do it in RP.

 

*edit: horrid spelling...

You know you wanna. Just a shame there're far more males than females playing...:P

I agree, giving the option for players to bepolygamous grants them much freedom (which is a good thing, no?) and of course, an extended amount of roleplay, in addition to many other things, such as perhaps, a greater sense of family etc etc.

 

However, given the number of relationship issues that as a character, I've experienced, in addition to the many "strings attached" factors that I've had to deal with, I'm not sure if this is a good thing. In particular, as many have stated above, most in real life relationships that are polygamous must be equal and such, and it is difficult to do such a thing in a game.

The real problem is the same as RL relationships....people just seem to be incapable of handling the concept of one on one relationships maturely, much less the dynamics of multiple people. Even if logistically it'd work out better with all involved caring about and supporting one another. People are...pretty much children when it comes to intimacy. Would be fun in the games to see how they'd pan out of course.

Doesn't matter, but each person is different.. I know some people have open relationships, but have strict rules and guidelines about it, so why wouldn't it work IG??

Who's to rule?

what i just said

 

probaly best to sort them out properly first before makeing them more compicated.

Meh

I know a good friend of mine who has an open relationship and has voiced that that wouldn't mind it, and for them I can see why it would work for them.  I think maybe it could be an interesting implement.

lol

Ew.

Seems like it would suck to code!

Also, I'd be afraid of people farming marriages like they do kids.

yes

yes!

Maybe!

Yes

We support racism, so why not polygamy? Interesting social experiments conducted in a virtual world environment...

Wow

I still have issues about the fact that most stories people have in their backgrounds about their parents are that they left home years ago - and their bloodlined parents found them and took them in. Over the years the rules have made it more clear that blood means just that, and you'd better be willing to let people assume your character had sex with the second parent of your kid - but as a Novice aide a decade ago, and a Newcomer aide now, believe me when I tell you not much has changed.

"I ran away from home because my town/mother/father/friends did not understand me."

I never bloodlined, because Prythe was not going to have sex with a male to create a child. Ditto, Serendipity. (I wrote about this years ago - http://www.rslevinson.com/gaylesissues/features/main/gl031107.htm)

Matt's a great guy, and we agree on a lot of things, but bloodlining should be revised to some sort of more generic "parenting" system which affords the ability to adopt rather than "give birth."

How is this the thread for that? 

Well, one of Matt's justifications was that gay and lesbian couples could not "have kids together in real life." That was incorrect then as it is now - but the logic applies to polyamorous marriages. Yes, they exist, in vast number. None of my business. But in every country of which I am aware only one couple of the unions is recognized by the government as being in a "valid" marriage, the rest are merely de facto.

Wow. I earned a credit!

 

As long as people are mature about it I don't see why not.

double post

 

There are many cultures in real life where men can have more than one woman... so it would make for interesting roleplay that is for sure and there are so many sex-obsessed players in these muds these days they may as well have a huge orgy and ge tit over with.

I think it'd be lulzy to watch the drama caused by things such as this. My character has little to no interest in any sort of romantic relationship, and hopefully won't ever... so, he can just laugh at the idiots who do. :P

Adding more layers to relationships and politics in the game is always great. The interplay between multiple spouses could make for some interesting situations.

No Reason why not

  • Doesn't Detract from gameplay
  • Isn't very distractive and great themeatics for role playing families
  • Doesn't affect anyone's gameplay but ones involved
  • Even gods have their own naughty things they do, and even gods can be humanesque

Characters have these relationships already anyway. They simply aren't officially "married" all to one another. It would definitely require more complexity in honours lines and figuring out the exact mechanics, but it doesn't seem (from an admittedly un-programmer point of view) like it would be tremendously complicated to add in.

 

Adding this capability of characters to officially be married to multiple partners will merely solidify or validate some character's existing roleplay, not detract from any gameplay. And if people are offended by the "immorality" of it OOC and thereby object to it's portrayal IC.... they can get over it.

Why not?

 

Not something I care to take part in, though I know there are others who would happily take part in this aspect of role play.

If IRE officially introduces polygamy - I'll probably quit Achaea. I think it is disgusting and just an excuse for 'multiple sexual partners'. Then again the 'online relationship' aspect of rp has never appealed to me anyway. Ferrous actually slapped Lyaeus (the travelling womanizer bard) for kissing her on the cheek, and BOY did it ever feel good. He sulked haha.

 

And don't bother responding/arguing with me, as I won't be coming back to this conversation.

yep

:)

^^

^^

I don't like the idea, but I'm certain there are plenty of people who'd be all over this.

Polygamy is stupid. Flat out stupid.

Lol

Lol

These are fantasy worlds, so such things as polygamous families shouldn't be ignored. It isn't something I'd normally be for, but as a roleplaying device, it would be a very interesting capability, giving users another way to deepen their roleplaying and immersion into the game.

meh

RP marriage is fine for RP purposes, no sense in changing the coding of the game so roleplayers can 'officially' do something they can already do now. If it isn't a hardcoded game mechanic already why convert?

Seems like a valid avenue for RP to me.

i dunno. why do we even bother?

Still no!

I'm on the fence with this topic. Roleplay wise, it's all fine and dandy and it's done anyway. Mechanics wise, it does present problems with bloodlines and keeping those straight.

In regards to my own characters, it's not something I'd ever consider for them.

Would bloodline become complicated though? You can only have children with two people, so what does it matter? People like things to be made official so change honours line a bit. Worst case scenario, people with beds buy a pillow. And thats good for IRE, sucks for the rest of us because beds are mostly lame.. beds and veils.

Eh

While on one hand I think a few people would do this idea justice in the way it should be done RP wise, but in all honesty? I see this being more used as a joke and as something incredibly immature, rather then an idea like societies who do practice this in reality.

Because its a game that allows players to start at 13. And I do not want to have to deal with an influx of 17 year olds who have already been married 7 times in singular fashion trying to start harems.

Why not. If the people are consentual, outside of tax related reasons I can't see why this isn't allowed IRL.  Not for me, though.

I admit, I'm too jealous for that.

What if all wives are online at the same time, am I suppose to twiddle my thumbs when my hubby spends 'time' with one of them, are we going on a group hunt?