RPG Games: Pursuit of the Sue

text game mary-sue

by M.K. Barry

 

So, you've rolled a new  character in your favourite IRE text game, and now you're ready to dive in and become the sweetheart of the whole text game world. But if you want to be the shining beacon of perfection that you know deep in your heart that you are, you have to do some work! So here, in four simple steps, is the way to create the most perfect Mary-Sue.

Simply put, a Mary-Sue is the /godmode of fan-fiction. They can deflect every spell, sleep with all the heroic love-interests and are usually like, soo totally popular. While Mary-Sue characters are usually products of teenage girls, this bad trait can follow authors well into their adulthoods. 

 

Step 1: Create the perfect name and title
Your name and title cannot be generic, common things. They have to be unique, and meaningful. Your text game name itself has to ring off the ears of others and make them gasp in auditory ecstasy. It could take days to think of the right name, but after playing with your own nicknames, switching up vowels, and messing with online translators to get the word for "darkness" in ancient Sanskrit, you'll finally have a name that's as perfect as you are. However, you can't let the name be the only thing to represent you! As though one word could every capture your wonder. All IRE text games let you have a title as well, so now you need to figure out a title that is worthy of you. Don't worry about earning a title, just make one up. Have you linked your rpg game character to some fantastic animal? If you have, then you can just proclaim yourself as the master of that creature. Otherwise, just pick a text game God and name yourself the "Favoured of (Him|Her)". Don't worry, I'm sure the text game Gods will be so flattered that you allowed Their names into your title that they won't zap you. Or maggot you. Or turn you into a shrubbery.

Step 2: Describe your glory 

When describing your text game character, remember that the hardships your character has suffered should have no bearing on your physical appearance, save to make you more beautiful. Starvation is an excellent example. Normally, starvation would leave men and women with sunken in cheeks, twig-thin arms, and large dead eyes. Not you though. For you, starvation has only served to keep you skinny and slender. You still have muscle tone and/or large perky breasts, and curvy hips, which are likely stated somewhere in your description to "draw admiring gazes from men and women, and invoke their lust". If you fight, or even work hard with your hands, you have no wounds, no callouses, nothing to detract from your beauty, save for one exception: scars. Scars are allowed, provided they are visible, improve your beauty, and come from some dramatic event in your text game past. This way, when someone asks about your scar ( after you've spent the last hour subtly tracing it with one slender finger) you can give a deep and heavy sigh, look into the distance as though looking back into the past, and as the terrible history of the scar comes to mind, you let a single tear, like a perfect diamond, fall down your cheek as you start your lament.

Step 3: The tragic past 

Perfect text game characters tend to be uninteresting. If they never make mistakes, they never get a chance for dramatic role-play. That's ok though, because you're going to spice up your rpg game character with a horrible past. Make your character one of noble birth, whose parents either abandoned them, or were murdered brutally (preferably before your character's eyes). After that, you can say you you were raised by some horrible text game villain who fed you raw dog tails and beat you for breathing. Eventually you can talk about your great escape, leaving everything for a fantastic new life. Along the way, you can throw in some tragedy, where someone dies, or where a place is destroyed, and you happen to be there. This way, you can blame yourself, and have a redemption story going for you, although everyone knows that you didn't do anything wrong. This allows for dark brooding and suppressed rage about your text game past, without making you seem less perfect by having flaws.

Step 4: The Sue swag 

You have your perfect text game character outfit all ready to go, so now's the time to jazz it up. Throw in a talking animal, a magical tattoo, a ring passed down from generations which has some magical ability to speak to your dead parents. your description can help with this, of course. Have a cat constantly sitting on your shoulder, a glowing tattoo,  or the ring you always wear. Don't forget to godmod some powers for yourself. Color changing eyes, pyrokinesis, levitation. If you really want to go all-out, make yourself mute so you can talk with your mind, or you eyes, or blind, so you can see with your true inner eye. This will also let you make assumptions on the true nature of everyone so you can say that those who don't like you simply have a tainted and distorted aura.   

Now of course, if anyone else did any of this, they'd come off as assuming, self-glorifying, role-play hacks. But not you, because as we've already mentioned, you're perfect, right?

M.K. Barry is a text game enthusiast who enjoys playing the best online rpg games from Iron Realms!

Comments

Mary-Sue was suddenly surrounded by an Occultist, 2 mages and the god of evil Shatain himelf. The mages casted retrard vibe and teh whole world was slowded down but then Mary-Sue went ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! with a scream of primall fury and rage adn the retard vibe was instganeously destroyed. the occultists tried to summon their chaos ents but mary-sue tekura punched them into oblivion and then kai enfeebled the occultist and killed him with a sdk/ucp/ucp combo. shaitain tries to zap mary-sue but she rolls to the side like an expert and then screams AVADA-KADAVRA while pointing her sylvan staff at shaitan and a burst of green energy shoots at him and he dies and gurgles urrrrrrgggghhhh.

lovely bits of green energy... Nice visuals on that one there!

rainbow bits of energy is better

yeaaah

 

Hahaha, great thought :D

Mary-Sue for Caliph

Is that really how Shallam does things?

We tried things the other way, and things were meh.... But a wand-weilding monk who can tickle shaitan could be fun. I vote yes purely for my own entertainment LOL. 

This is a lot more... visually entertaining. XD

:O

:O

..is that a harry potter reference I see? haha, amazing.

I laughed, really hard at this.

:D

:D

I can't stop laughing at this.

Written like a true Mary-Sue

And read like a real Mary Sue.

 

Touché.

...

...bwahaha. Quality bardsmanship.

Thank god i never made one of these ewwww

Mary-Sue as new playable race for all Iron Realms games. If you think it's a good idea, reply to this post XD

*points at Siren*

*points at elfen and fluffy furrikin*

Screw the code, Mary-Sue can make 2+2=fish, imortal gods? HA!

I

I read this and pepsi came out of my nose. Thanks, Aktillum

 

I just want to know who the hot chick is in the photo.

You make me smile. LOL

Haha.

Here's hoping you win! :)

As a Sue, I like to surround myself with other enviable Marys. 

Waaaait a minute, does that make me a Mary? :D Oh the HORROR

The bit about the ring made me laugh.

I found this article quite entertaining.

what the point of this article is.

for you Sir to make a Sue!

Is to reduce the amount of herp derp in the game by pointing to the derp and going "are you -sure- you're note herp?"

 

Also, it was funny.

right? Else I donno :(

Supposed to be a parody of the Mary Sue idea.

But the way it was written, I can't help but wonder if there's a little personal spite there.

^

^

Always personal spite. It's the main ingredient to any successful post.

 

Bastards.

I really dislike a Mary-Sue.. if this article is accurate. Prefer making a character who twitches, screws up, and makes Mary-sue realize what a bimbo she is :)

"This way, when someone asks about your scar ( after you've spent the last hour subtly tracing it with one slender finger)" lolwut

 

Pure poetry, my good sir. The work of a master.

This was highly verbose for getting to the point that Mary Sues are boring as hell.

Hmm

Mary-Sue looks an awful lot like that Bella lady.  The one that likes that other vampire girl.  I dunno.  I just like to hit things in the game.  Don't mind me.

heh

heh

(That's what Mrs. Box would say).

 

Seen more of Matty-Steves -- Harry Potter anyone?

What's the male equivalent of a Mary-Sue called?

Personally I just use Mary-Sue to refer to this type of character of either gender, But Marty Stu seems to be reasonably popular.

Galleus.

I've always heard the male equivelants called Gary-Sues. Ie- "Harry Potter is such a Gary-Sue, every time he's supposed to die, some lucky freak accident saves him." (Not my quote, and I don't remember who said it. It was just the most current example I could remember hearing.)

A boy named Sue?

Chuck Norris

Haha...

 

... has no chin. Hidden in his beard is another leg, ready to roundhouse you.

Oh, and I am Bill Nighy!

The tone of sarcasm which drips from this article is fantastic. Please keep up the good work.

Hrm

Definitely know of a few! :P Best not dish out names, though.

Very funny. There should be a clan for Mary-Sues or something.

These are truly annoying, right up there with all those fun mudsex alts, and people that are just in the game to ruin it for everyone else around them. Good stuff.

Yeah, I never understood the fact that people can't simply allow others to enjoy the game... even though conflict needs to exist it can be done in a way that is fun for everyone.

 it's Marty stu

edit: or Matty-Steves works. any M-S name

That's the spirit!

And the article's a good re-read.

 

so many of them.. mary sue is everywhere, oh god! SO MANY!

Definitely need many sides to a character to make it rich and not cliche and just stupid.

A well-written article, and all too apt. I'm sure anyone who plays an IRE mud has come across a ton of characters that fit the Mary Sue description.

Agreed.  mary sue...ugh....too many of them for sure.

....

'And are usually like so totally popular'

That's what they think.

 

The problem is that some them are either superficially charming and/or (in)famous which tends to make them a number of friends who will constantly support the Mary-Sue's 'perfection'.

Heh nicely done.

Although sometimes it is better to lurk in the background.

This statement has been approved by the Anti-Mary-Sue foundation.

 

I think I can be guilty of these things from time to time, although its my need for things to be "perfect", who knows what that means.

That is called OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder....Hell we all have that in one form or another. We all want perfection.

 

Very good article, I've come across so many people who this brings to mind.

I actually enjoy the article and the author sense of humour. They might be popular, but in the bad sense, though I think there are some with interesting background stories.

is that if the next potential Mary Sue is reading this, one of her powers will be that she is immune to all forms of satire...

I think Mary Sues come with level 1 resistance to satire. Full immunity would be truly horrible...

I'm fairly certain they have at LEAST a level 3 resistance, if not an out-and-out immunity. How else could the maintain their perfect, aloof grace in light of all the slings and arrows those jealous commonfolk are flinging in their predestined path?

I remember this when I started RPing, my character fell into every hole in this supposed ruleset. 7 years later though, and my character is as ordinary as they come. 

Heh  few came to mind as soon as I started reading this article.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Send The Mary-Sues to Bloodloch. We'll see how long they last!

 

Bloodloch used to have plenty of mary sues, man, even before the advent of Twilight, True Blood, and all these other romance vampire stories.

"Don't forget to godmod some powers for yourself."

Oh god don't give them ideas.

indeed

Good article

Agreed

Haha, I'll keep this in mind, thanks.

...

UH OH. Too late. :(

For once could someone please make Mary Sue's special needs sister Peggy Sue. The one with tourette's and the minor amount of drool coming from her pouty lip. We could have armourers craft her a special helmet so she doesn't hurt herself while influencing denziens of the world. And when the org Peggy Sue is in happens to be all down in the dumps about something or another, she could pick them up with some quirky little statement in which the they all would say "Aww, thats our little Peggy Sue."

 

Yes, this is what we need to battle the Mary Sue effect. 

I support this notion, wholeheartedly.

Thank you so much...spewing coffee...snorting...fantastic!

unfortunately true...what happened to all the ugly or at least, average people in texts?

I was made fun of for having a small chest and big hips (from having many babies) in my description... two iterations ago. Now I've taken out any reference to -anything- having to do with breast, butt, or otherwise. I know that guys with ugly, horribly scarred and maimed descriptions get more girls than the hot ones from personal experience :3 (not mine, observing someone else's)


Reading that made me do this.

killed on site

"killed on sight*"

 

Unless you're talking about somehow trying to kill them on a web page.....

or

simply killed on the spot (site).

Guys enable this by the way.

That wa so funny!!!!

The absolute worst is when one of these decides she has become pregnant.  And tries to drag everyone else in for the ride.

"SELIRA!! THE BABY'S COMING!!"

"Oh, hey, look, I'm having problems staying in realms." *PHASE*

Why waste precious bandwidth. Give us something useful.

I eated it.

 

PS - You don't have to read, therefore, you're the one wasting it. Don't drink the haterade just because you don't like the post, majority disagrees with you.

Every character is special, but some are more 'special' than others...

Depressing, depressing truth.

Wow.

Who doesn't know a few of these?

Not sure if I've met one as of yet.

I think Mary Sue is a term out of fanfiction(Captain Kirk, Mister Spock, and Ensign..Joanna, first in her class! Hearthrob of every officer in Starfleet! Half-Vulcan, Half-Betazoid, Half-Klingon! etc. etc.) or of pure roleplaying games(sans levels, sans numbers-based combat). For "numbers" games, I think the spiritual equivilant of the Mary Sue is the Minmaxer, those who scour the rules for the most optimal configurations, but I don't believe that such games really allow for Mary Sues. 

Minmaxers are minmaxers and whether that's good or bad depends on how much you care. Keeps me from even being interested in combat, but so does lack of any trans'd skills, so eh.

 

In IRE games, there's more than ample opporunity for peoples to RP a Mary-sue, and I can think of a good number of examples.

 

On the other hand, i think this article goes a bit overboard for the exaggerated Sue, which might make the unaware not realise how much they infest the universes.

This is the first article that I've read here that has gone over my head. I've read twice and still don't get the reference to 'Mary Sue'. Maybe it's just a generation gap.... What is she, a Goth airhead chick?

A Mary-Sue is generally fictional perfection, a character with no real flaws (save for cliched ones) who is powerful/beautiful/talented/smart...and ultimately boring for everyone to play with/read. In my opinion, they are also boring to play! Nothing beats some good old angst and conflict brought about by severe imperfections!

Thank you. That explains a lot. I was wondering also what exaclty a Mary Sue was. I got it and they are nasty.

Yep

Not sure about this one, i guess. Uhm. Fiction showing teenage females as the protagonist are generic? Vampires? ew? Lol

so wrong...

SAD

The saddest part here is that we've all met characters like this.

^

^

I'd liek to see two Mary-Sue's meet.. Would they become friends or enemies?

This would cause a rift in Space-time DO NOT WANT not at all!

It'd be funny to see them interact that's for sure

ha

ha

Oh wow, what a great article. hahaha

Mary-Sues are at their worst when the author writes the story specifically to cater to their perceived greatness. In an online RPG, where the author is dealing with other people and circumstances beyond their control, they've effectively been declawed. I don't mind characters with a special-snowflake complex nearly as much as I do stories tailor-made for the ego of the writer.

I saw that a lot more in Achaea than I do in Lusternia. Here, we have other planets, space travel is real and so forth. But in Achaea there was just the one continent (back when I played, anyway; I hear there are two now) and no space travel, so people would claim to be from another continent or world, to make them special. Personally I find that lazy. A background is much more interesting when it's detailed and believable, not when it's "special."

LOL, that is an awesome article. Well put!

People who do that are so, so annoying.

It's funnier because I've met these people... -shudder-

I think we all have, unfortunately. :((

I do get a little tired of newbies who have some dark, horrible childhood story. Thankfully, the few that stick around seem to grow out of it.

And despite that background, it has almost no impact on their roleplaying.

For once I'll keep my mouth shut, RATHER THAN posting a list of Mary Sue's that I've played with across the IRE games...

 

But, Mary... you know who you are.

Name and shame - its how they learn

How dare you mention True Blood in the same breath as that P.O.S. Twilight series!

have you seen the author? someone is living their sex life vicariously through their character

All vampires are....  what's the word I'm looking for....   it rhymes with Hay. 

Vampires are all Tay...zeable, bro? :D

Most. Not all. Not since Lestat, anyway.

Somebody should make a Mary-Sues Evil Twin Sister.  I wanna see a Mary-Sue that is a fan of Blood!

These types of characters honestly don't appeal to me at all, they seem far to "out there" with no weaknesses or usable weaknesses in battle. I've been RPing now for 10 years off and on, only ONCE did I ever have a chara of this type. It was killed off by myself rather quickly because it wasn't very interesting to play.

Aw shoot! I do have a scar and I -do- trace it with my finger! My horrible plans have been foiled again!

Plans aside, I think my own pet peeve is the word "petite" or perfect being used in descriptions. And when people use more than one short sentence to describe their breasts. Generally I tend to consider characters less attractive the more attractive they are described to be.

Very interesting and observant article. I hope some of the 'Mary Sue's' out there realize how silly they are and change.

 

And on the topic of scars - I swear that every "newbie" character description I see contains at least one, usually going along the right-hand side of the characters face, or across their eye. It makes me "LOL" each time I see desc with one now....

God I almost pissed myself laughing reading this one, and the first comment was spot on

This article reminds me of Chuck Norris, somewhat.

I saw some confusion in the commentary about what, precisely, makes a Mary-Sue a Mary-Sue (the above example certainly qualifies, but is hardly the only definition), so for those of you who aren't sure or just want a good TV-Tropes chuckle, you can read all about them here.  For anyone concerned that you might be playing one, there is also the Mary-Sue Litmus Test.  Not flawless, but it's a nice reference tool.

I actually put Jiraishin through that not too long ago. He scored an 8, which is within the very lowest score category (cutoff is 16). Probably because he has so many negative traits that went under the 'De-Suifiers'.

I included the current Favour from Lord Phaestus, and I'm going to reach dragon eventually, so that's a magical transformation to another race, right?

 

14, if you don't count that stuff, because it's everyday life in Achaea.

Victoria -cough cough- mary sue -cough-

Ugh

So... so many Mary-Sues

 

There is no way I can do this

I did all four steps, what next??

I've seen this type of character all too much.

Heh

Pretty funny

Mary Sues are pretty!

This reminds me of all the cliche descriptions you can find on text games! I can understand descriptions that are suited for your class or that come from your typical behavior, but going to the point of this "Mary-Sue" thing is kind of overdone. A lot of people have such epic descriptions!

I can't stand epic descriptions! Make your actions epic, I don't want to be left breathless every single time I see you. Unless I can use that as one more reason not to talk to such people.

I am perfect and special!!!

Ivellios is perfect and special

the beautiful and unique snowflakes!

Good read. Way to put a different spin on the god-mod.

fairly interesting

 

Not more nor less

Death to all Mary Sue!!!

Wow

This was the most useless article I've come across yet. How to make a female troll?

Entertaining article.

They appear in Fire and Spice by way of the eastern doorway, they leave from Golgotha's Pit.

Hmm... I wonder if Daryn counts as a Mary-Sue... nah, he's too flawed, and proud of it.

  • I don't see it.

Life aint easy for a boy named Sue.  

Ha! Great read! In MUDS, Characters with the Mary Sue type complex probably don't do as well, since instead of being loved/embraced by those around her/him, they just evoke annoyance and eye rolls.

the anti-Mary Sue's in a text game. Their character name actually is a Romanian/Latin translation of either blood, dark, darkness, death, gods of death, demon, or a variation of evil badness. Their title consists of taking innocent names like rose and adding the English version of their translated name to make it more sinister (i.e. Blood Rose, Dark Demon, Death Flower). Every background story is one of either watching their parents butchered horribly before them OR they killed them, depending, leaving a trail of angsty bitterness/coldness/vengeance that makes them mean to every person in the rest of the game. They not only have nasty scars to scare anyone who asks, but are proud to remind anyone who gets in the way of their sarcastic/mean/cold attitude exactly what flaws in their personal lives are that makes them act that way and they use them well as excuses to be annoying text bullies. 

I've banged my share of Sues.

Oh god, if only this article weren't so true /facepalm

Now we know the real reason why you were banned from the game, Kabaal. Let this be a painful lesson never, ever bang a Mary Sue. Her wholesome sweetness and goodness will transcend Divine powers to reach out and shrub anyone who attempts to mar her perfection. Then she bans your IP.

;)

Wrong character, nubbycake

Lol, this was a fun read.

Hilarious, though I'm glad I haven't actually SEEN  single one of these in MKO

This article made me giggle. Oh Mary-Sueee where are youuu?

omg love the article!

so many manry sues

good one

Gotta admit, when I was younger all my characters were some kind of Mary Sue. Now that I'm a bit older, I'm more interested in portraying flesh and blood characters, with problems, and real growth, who can't, even in my imagination, just fly-swat any obstacles out of their path. Though vanity still tugs at me every now and again.

Not much of a fantasy lit reader/writer, either.  I can recognize the type, though.

this was defenetly a different kinda read.

I want to grow up to be just like Mary-Sue.

Hola

How exciting.

Anyone know where I can find one of these girls? I might be interested in getting married someday, and I'd be happy to be a back story when we got divorced.

<name>, favored of Estarra - Too much?  Certainly has a nice ring though =p

 

(Seriously though, there are perfectly viable ways you can borrow aspects from what has been mentioned in the article without making a cookie-cutter copy of what was mentioned)

>.>

Aiiiieeeee. That is all.

i wanna bite kristen stewart's face off.