Text-Based RPGs: Five Things To Think About Before Getting Hitched!

Online Text Games

By Lorna Cowie

It's the age old story. You are born, live your life, hit eighteen years of age and get thrown into your adult text game life with a brief nod and smile (a process also known as 'character creation'). Suddenly everything is full of challenges; life sucks and it is up to you to make it better.

One of the ways you can make your RPG life better is by being in a relationship. Your character will need the support of friends and family around you, and as one of the previous articles has aided you on the family, I shall help you with your text-based love life. That's me, a regular cupid.

Before you go running off and doing the dirty with every local, there are a few things to remember about all this relationship 'stuff'.

People talk. 

Yes, yes they do. It is an unfortunate fact of any community in a text-based RPG. People will talk about anything. They hear a whisper and it will be around the text-based world before you can say 'Well Holy heck on a stick!' (or Unholy, depending which way you swing). Thanks to the amazing coding, some of the more in-depth text-based RPGs these days give characters skills that enable characters to be true spies with a full array of stealthy abilities such as eavesdropping and telepathy. If you say it, it can be heard... so keep this in mind when you start talking to someone about something important. Did you really want your words to be spread all over the world?

People love sex. 

Sex sells! And it entertains people. I remember finding a lovely note left on the ground outside of a city in one text-based RPG that I play that contained every grunt, groan and squelchy noise of two people doing a certain unseemly activity. Someone had obviously scribed the event after eavesdropping (or perhaps either of the couple in question did it for revenge), but this can and does happen! Just because the game mechanics allow you to do literally anything, it doesn't mean that you should do literally anything just anywhere (unless of course doing it outside floats your boat) - just be prepared for the consequences!

Are you a fling? 

Check into your soon to be beloved's background. Many divorces? Might mean they can't settle. Look through their family names or close friends and send out a few discreet messages. Do they go through women? Men? Kiss everything that stays still long enough? This could help in stopping you becoming number five... or six, or seven!

It might not all be their fault. People go dormant in text-based RPGs, and perhaps they like the feeling of having someone special so another divorce is added to the list. But it is a warning sign. Ask them and see what they say.

Are you happy? 

Does this special person make the text-based RPG a brighter place for you? Do you log onto the text game just to check if they are around? You are the one playing the text game and obviously if you are happy, then you will be playing it more. Romance isn't everything, but does your soon-to-be partner do things to make you smile? Or kill and slaughter to offer you their enemies' hearts? It is nice to have someone around who loves and appreciates you, so do the same for them. Send them a letter with a poem, a head of one of their enemies. Share and share alike.

Do what you feel is right.

After all is said and done, the only person who can say what happens in your relationship is you and your text-based partner. Rumours might happen, gossip may spread, but if love is strong then so is your relationship. There will always be people out there to get you (paranoid yet?), but remember, you know what you are doing... right?

 

Forget OKCupid! Find love for your text character in a quality text-based RPG and live vicariously through your text gaming!

Lorna Cowie is a text game enthusiast and currently plays games from http://www.IronRealms.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Lorna_Cowie

 

Comments

Right now I have no family and I am apparently subconsiously RPing as needing someone in my life. I have been RPing the occasional sex, once with a quegan bath attendant and once with a succubus. I will have to consider having a stable relationship eventually.

It's true, Tekla has been divorced once, but that's only because Lady Eris decided thought it would be a hoot to make the engagement to Glyc more official just as Tekla was desperately trying to break it off.

Good advice given. On the investigation part, I suggest researching both IC and OOC. Someone who might seem a perfect match IC might carry a reputation for being a sociopath, yet finding that out IC is going to be tricky. Sadly, the reverse is also true, there are people who pour their OOC hate into an IC form and try and manipulate you. 

I like how in text games, "lets go bashing" equates to "I wanna bone you"

Apparently hunting is an aphrodisiac. Go figure.

I've never interpretted it that way but now I'll have to think of that next time someone asks me to go bashing with them.

It really does mean that? Wow... the many times I've told novices that, and been told that by older players and never realized.

I hate walking through the forest and finding two people in the act.  Gotta at least go someplace a little more private instead of sitting right outside of Eleusis....

Yeah, that's just plain bad RP. You at least find a room and forget to close the door.

This name has never been married where-as another has been a few times. Not the point though.

Yes people need to take it a little more discreet but lets face it, its a text based game where you either kill other people or NPCs, you've gotta find something else to do.

found someone in the act, guess i'm not looking hard enough.

meh

I haven't either, though it is due to lack of trying. Still, I greatly appreciate others not engaging in the act in public areas. I guess that's what estates are for.

"I like how in text games, "lets go bashing" equates to "I wanna bone you""

seconded

The only way I'd get married in game is if my wife decided to start playing..

I have never had a spouse in the game, and don't see it happening very soon.  I may join a family, but I doubt anything more will come for a while, unless I meet someone I really connect with.  I don't think I will ever have MUDsex with them though, so we can definitely leave that out of the picture.

Well-roleplayed, long-term relationships can definitely bring a lot to the RP experience of a MUD.

One thing that winds me up, however, is how characters switch partners and then a few days later miraculously have an 18-year-old child together. At least TRY not to have children who were born before you actually met the other parent!

I've had a wealth of experience on different muds within relationships... be they friends, acquaintences, fiancee's or husbands.. and truthfully, I've only done 'the dirty' with a few,  and with those few, only a few times, and always completely inside private places.(and to be honest, I usually liked the person behind the character a lot before any of that ever happened. Yes, I'm extremely picky.)

 

My first husband on Achaea, took a whole two weeks to 'cheat' on me with someone else.. because I wouldn't mudsex with him. Needless to say, that didn't last long, heh.

 

What I truly hate, is peoples inability to let private things stay private. I've had friends truly hurt by others, and quit games before, because of it. If someone is shown that level of 'trust' so to speak, you should hold to that 'trust', even if you eventually dislike/hate a person, or currently do. Private times, are just that, private.

"Ask yourself... Do I want to be emotionally and fiscally ruined by this person?" applies here.

I like how you still play Achaea. I'm going to keeeeel you.

Everyone who is in need of some special attention or just even a loved one in RL will no doubt have that in some way, be put into their character. Just remember people do talk, so try to keep it private and not in the middle of a public area....

I've done the whole cybering thing before with other places. I was quite thoroughly ruining myself; never again.  Besides, I didn't have my lovely fiancee back then! While we're not exactly going to get it on until we're married, we're free to cyber.

 Also thankfully: the fact that it may be possible to do anything, while it may give people opportunity to sneak around like spies... Also makes it possible to pull a counter-measure. Maybe even getting revenge for the intent.  /rubs hands together, opportunistically.

Er. In addition, in the event that there's an 'accident'.  (Oh, god, shoot me now for this.)  I think it's possible to glamour a child.  /deep breath, standing in front of the firing squad.

Janalon and my character came together through an arranged marriage. The joys of RPing!

That actually sounds like an interesting idea so long as both parties agree to it OOC.

I foresee a sequel, perhaps touching on differentiating between IG relationships, and IRL. Has anyone had one of those weird experiences where an IG spouse/significant other completely dives off the deep end because they assumed the relationship was 'for real', only to find out otherwise?

Wait, "let's go bashing" means what now?  Gah, thank you.  From here on,
I'm going to keep a close, suspicious eye on people who invite me
hunting.  Good bye, innocent fun!  ...

On a more serious note, I like this article!  I think I want to add that
it should be perfectly acceptable for one to send his or her
character's potential significant other an OOC message before anything
gets started, setting forth boundaries.  That way, one can avoid the
drama that develops later on when one person in the relationship was
expecting something totally different from what the other had in mind. 
It keeps things fun for those of us who are simply roleplaying, and not out
to get, erm, all hot and textual with somebody.

One thing I am always wary about are those who get too attached to you :S Esp. oocly.

After 8 OOC years of in-game marriage, the biggest piece of advice I can offer is:

While not necessary, a good IC relationship works well if you get along OOCly.

...long-term engagements are the way to go here.

Totally. Where's my damn ring! :D 

One of my characters was engaged for most of his adult life before he (figuratively) drug his spouse to the altar and (literally) forced the marriage through, heh. Three decade engagement, so far the longest one to actually turn into a marriage that I'm aware of.

All i really have to say is don't rush things. It'll show on your honours if you do. I'd rather have long term engagements than multiple divorces.

That's what the Veil of the Libertine is for..hehe

Being married in Achaea is not so much about how you treat one another in private. It's about making a joint RP decision to represent yourselves as married to others. You don't need to actually be 'in love' with the person. And you certainly don't need to 'have sex'!

I've only actually been married in a MUD twice, the first time on a non-IRE game. It tends to make the RP extremely interesting. And it's true... you can set boundaries and conditions before marrying (for example, my IC wife and I on another character of mine agreed to no mudsexing, which was fine) and we were married for IC years.

Speaking of mudsexing, there was once an incident where a young man and young woman (I will not include their names to save them the embarrassment) were caught mudsexing in a fulcrux by the Goddess to whom the fulcrux belonged to. I mean, seriously people.... choose your areas more carefully!

Greek mythology here:

In greek myth, summary of the story of Medusa.

Athena found Poseidon and Medusa (before she was a multi-tentacled-for-haired freak) screwing in a temple of Athena's. Athena then turned Medusa into said multi-tentacled-for-haired freak. 

Moral: Don't piss off a goddess, and DO NOT screw your girlfriend in one of her temples.

 

Medusa was a priestess of Athena, was being raped, and begged her Goddess for help.

People need to always be sure they know what they are doing in game with their own character before doing anything else, heh, this included.

I have a friend who once had sex with her ingame wife... They emoted the whole damn thing.

 

He said he felt akward in the end,heh

Heh, I've wandered in on those more private lives of some characters a few times. Hopefully that won't happen again with the addition of estates, but probably not. Personally, I'm not into the more 'private' side of the relationships that many apparently go for. My character has of course found someone to have a relationship with and it works out great as we had become good friends OOCly first before making the decision that others were pretty much making for us already.

Alright, so I guess the point of my comment is really that the whole mudsex thing is rather irrelevant. Many are into that sort of thing, but it's not a requirement. Find someone you really enjoy playing with and get along with great and you could likely give those characters a lasting and happy relationship.

Just a personal preference, I'd rather be out bashing, questing, helping the novices or raiding a rival city than rolling around in some orchard or whatever doing things you would be embarrassed about anyone else walking in on.

</pointless comment>

maeeiage can be fun as long as the IC/OOC barrier isn;t crossed...then  it leads to awkward situations

I have to agree whole-heartedly with this, although it applies to any relationship, not only marriage.

I try to avoid them at all cost IC.. no drama = more fun.

I'm not totally surprised that it happens, but it seems to me that IC marital sex is one of those things, like IC pregnancy, that should be glossed over and never RP'd. It's fine for say, a certain Brewmaster to make raunchy comments to her feline husband in public places if that's their thing, but I'd like to assume that when they run off to their manse they just spend time in OOC chat instead of actually doing what they say they're going to.

 

But I'm just bitter because said Brewmaster has promised to find Tomir a girlfriend and it hasn't happened.

Do you discuss marriage OOCly with your IC spouse, or do you leave the development of your relationship entirely to IC interactions?

OH, there is sex in RPGames?

My life sucks!

Like office relationships, MUD relationships tend to get messy, annoying and inevitably will ruin your game experience. Be it because...

 

a) Your IC S.O. can't separate IC from OOC and will start being clingy/stalkerish out of the game (or conversely, take your divorce as a sign that you should no longer be friends)

b) Seldom if ever are boundaries on the same level. Some people want mudsex, some people will go along with it (or without it!) even though they're not entirely comfortable doing it (or feel deprived not doing it); some people do everything but mudsex and as OOC friends, emoting stuff like 'runs her tongue tantalisingly along your nipple' is still enough to make some people uncomfortable - even if 'nipple' is replaced by 'neck'.

c) Yep, people talk. Often they talk stupid things or assume things about you you'd rather they didn't assume. Often your IC S.O. will do stupid things that will become associated with your character.

d) Your boyfriend/girlfriend IRL could find out and start to question why you have a pretend relationship online when they're offering you a real relationship (not everyone 'gets' RP.)

I've done it before, numerous times, numerous MUDs, numerous styles, it almost always ends up with OOC estrangement, weirdness, bitterness. The only time I would ever reccomend it is when you're very good friends with the person OOC, you know them well (possibly know them IRL, or have known them online for quite some time and do not have a flirty relationship) and know that anything that goes on will be for the same reason on both sides - weaving an epic co-operative tale, which can include romance, does not need to be centred around it, and there are no ulterior motives/perceptions on either side OOC.

I've seen some of the most serious, mature, sensible roleplayers - even ones that are in dedicated relationships IRL - fall apart because of the OOC drama that almost always inevitably follows IC relationships.

Consider this some of the friendliest and most important advice you may receive as a roleplayer. :)

I never thought of that, that is good to know.

Speaking as someone who is married irl, my husband knows about my IG marriage and he trusts me completely, he is even friends IG and OOC with my characters husband, which is quite nice. Yes it really does help if you get on OOC with said person, which I do and there is lots of different and fresh RP brought in, when you get along easily and you don't have to worry about that OOC bitterness/hatred some people bring IG, even when you have never RP with them before, no one likes it and nobody wants to know. A game is meant to be enjoyable for everyone and if you have some OOC chip on your shoulder...go bash it out (Hunt NPC's/Denizens...take your minds from the gutters :P) or go vent your frustrations with someone you get on well with IC, if they want to hear your moaning.

Alas, keep you relationships/frisky RP private, don't force it on others or out where everyone can see you, there are still young, innocent minds playing these games and I know I would be quite angry if I knew my daughter (bless her luckily is only 3) was having her innocent mind and gaming fun degraded by something she doesn't and shouldn't be seeing, just like I wouldn't let her watch a certificate 18 or R rated movie at the age of 14/15, I wouldn't like her seeing it IG.

People will presume things about you all the time, whether they be about your fighting skills, calling you a snuggler, W/E...do you really care? You can either ignore them or sling mud at them in return, in a few OOC weeks time it would have been forgotten and they will be shouting/yelling/spying on someone else, and if they carry on....go out and kill them or RP ordering an assassin to kill them for you!

All in all, enjoy the game and don't let others get you down, because that's what they want, don't let them achieve it.

Reading logs of happenings is always entertainment gold.

i've always found it kind of cute in some ways when you try to help another out and then they become all googly eyed over you and want to spend time and always gift you with something cool! ((credits are always cool heh heh))

 

I do want my character in Lusternia to be married, eventually, as long as the spouse is able to maintain a strictly IC stance on it. I'm engaged IRL, and don't want the fiance worrying about an internet stalker. XD Anybody else run into problems with that?

Honesty is the best way! Tell him you really enjoy playing this game and you are building your own fantasy in a fantasy world and nothing is real about it OOC and it only ever stays IC. If he doesn't like it, then I wouldn't follow through with it, no game is worth risking your real life over.

My wife already hates that I spend most of my time on a text based game...if I was getting married...she would probably attempt to make me quit.  I mean, of course its IC only but she wouldnt understand, she cant even understand why I am so excited when I transcend a skill or when I hit the illustrious level of <insert illustrious level>.  Its a shame really.

Maybe I need to get married again in real life?

That's an interesting thought...finding a new IRL spouse. Maybe then it won't matter if my IG fiance doesn't want to take my family name. I can just find a new fiance without any RL implications. Might try that...

If there is one thing I would say to would-be e-brides, it is to please take note of a person's divorce line and how many times they have been divorced. If they have been divorced 5+ times then chances are your super-cute and pigtailed 18 year old character is not going to have much of a lasting e-lationship. It is scary how often this happens and the suicidal girl quits <insert IRE game> over it!

Can't say I've ever seen the attraction in IC relationships.

I think too many people worry too much about RPing the sexual aspects of the marriage, personally, and I've encountered plenty of folks that will "cheat" on you or leave you for refusing to mudsex with them. I understand it's RP and you should immerse yourself in the character, but come on, there's more to it than just sitting around in an estate/manse all day mudsexing each other's brains out.

It is true that the barrier rarely remains where it is, as an in character mechanism, not that always ends at horrid levels. On Midkemia the divorces aren't shown, which I find refreshing, as there isn't an emphasis on the past and to know it, one needs to actively rp to find out.

 

I think relationships are a key part of rp though and the IRE experience, for better or worse and always aim for one (alongside divine order membership and guild membership). There is very little to lose in trying also.

I have seen rl marriages severely damaged by someone who muds marrying ig, because that is essentially emotional infidelity, and mudsex is still sex.

 

As far as I care to create relationships on Achaea, I focus on children and whatnot. Less potential for harm.

I met my RL husband on Achaea nearly 4 years ago and during the past couple of years, he and I talked about what we can and can't do with our prospective RPs (his for Imperian and Midkemia, me for Achaea) and we're both happy with the arrangement. If our RP leads down the road to a relationship, then we can do it- minus cybering. The people in our RP understand it and accept it.

Good advice, I wasn't really aware of how much people talked about this sort of thing when I started playing my first character. Always a good thing to keep in the back of your mind!

haha I yeah they hitch you... I started playing aetolia when I was a sophmore in highschool and now im almost 21 and I still get on and play but none of my old characters are around anymore

 

This article and Lilah are pretty spot on. You really want to investigate your to-be bride or groom before you really make the leap.

 

My character was approached for marriage by someone pretty quickly into my playing of Lusternia. I decided to go for it on a whim because, OOCly, he said he wanted to marry someone at least somewhat interested in combat who wouldn't want to do any mudsexing. We established a pretty clear ic/ooc line with NO MUDSEX and as soon as I hit the requirements for marriage in game he proposed and we waited. We didn't really have any problems between us, but because of his family and establishment in Lusternia as a heavy combatant who really liked to jump people, I found myself being ganked pretty often because my character was "his" wife. It was really frustrating! But we had some incredible roleplay with our two Priestly characters looking to the Light for their answers. So while I think of the marriage and the well-rounded, fun roleplay we got to do fondly, and all the friends I made because of my connection with him, if I were given the chance to change my decision I might have said no to the initial proposal. Of course I don't know if things would have turned out differently, but I do wish I had taken a little time to consider my options rather than jumping into it immediately. Also, becoming a wife in-game prevented me from being adopted by someone who I regarded highly in-game. We had to roleplay my unofficial adoption for many, many years before it became possible for him to consider my character as his real flesh and blood, a discovery that was considered fantastic!

 

Unfortunately there was an event that happened in-game that lead to our character's divorce. Although my character is pretty much living up the single life, she is still lonely at times :(. And is also confused when people say that the Supernals don't put babies doorsteps. (Supernals always grant babies to needy couples, scoff!)

These days I play quite casually, and I don't think I'm online enough for most possible partners. When I played more often, (my alt) did marry, and although it was a pretty positive experience, I found I was being pushed into being online more often, and RL started to suffer because I was spending more time online than I could really afford.

There is always going to be a level of attachment to the person you're choosing to pursue/accept on your character. It could be an attachment as friends or possibly something more, but the baseline rule for those who are already attached is to make sure the other party and your boyfriend/girlfriend know that it's completely RP. And take note that even if you're assured them, they can still appear rather uncomfortable about it and that's when you need to sit down and talk things through!

That said, I completely enjoy the pleasures of RPing with an in-game fiancé but understand that marriage and these relationships shouldn't be rushed into. It's a huge RP tool for your character development! For example: my character's first marriage was such a sham and an unhappy moment for me that it took about 100 IG years to decide to go for it again!

While this article does give out great advice, I'm one of the actual few who do not like people. I suppose it's not more of a dislike as it is a distrust. It is very, very true that people do talk regardless of how close you feel you are to them. I don't have time for that, and I'm not too fond of affection either. Lucky me?

I have also seem IG relationships break up OOC romances and even -marriages-.

 

Regardless, good tips!

Man, I cannot even count how many times I've been jumped all over while I was IC'ly engaged/married. You get crazy people that want your head to provoke the significant other and then you have ex's with some severe IC baggage they need to work out. Often it's totally fun to RP along with crazy people running around screaming blasphemies, but there is always a point when those people tend to spill over into OOC.

 

I've had people who can't take the IC/OOC situation and end up finding you on media outlets to tell you about dirty, nasty things your spouse/fiance is/was doing at one point in time. Better to have the IC happen IC or else there's nothing to work off of.

 

I've also noticed a lot of people doing the bloodline thing with people they have just got engaged to. I am actually quite proud that I make a note of when my character has been with someone and work through that. I've been engaged and in relationships with a number of people and there are three dads to all my children and the kids know ahead of time who their dad is going to be, etc. If they don't like it and would like another dad, then they don't need me as a mom.

This brought back memories. My friends at RL work knew I played a game, had popped on to check it out, met my husband (s), and kiddos and looked at my bloodline...

Then would go to work and tell the customers I had two husbands currently and 30 something kids.

Their jaws dropped, the customers of course had no idea my friends meant some of that was in a game.

Then these friends, younger than me said I had to "bloodline" them, and walked around at work yelling "MOM" when they needed help. Imagine being a customer and 9 different young adults calling a manager "mom" in a place of business that is not a mom and pop shop.

I think people need to also take into consideration whether they will be able to have a firm seperation between their character, and themselves. A lot of times people start blurring those lines, and it causes huge problems, whether they are in an OOC relationship with someone else or not. 

 

I can't agree more about the IC/OOC stuff, and feel it  should have had a section in this article.  Really one of the first things you should do when you think about getting married is how far you want the relationship to go. 

I need gold!

Bleak got engaged to a boy named Thi to avoid a crazy ex. Thi turned out to be the coolest girl I have ever met and we've been dating irl for 5 years now. We'll move in together soon.

Nice Achaea and Iron Realms the new online dateing site.

 

but congrats and i wish you both a happy live!

I'm inclined ta agree, workin thins out with yer potential partner OOC is by far the best thin ya could do.  This is the first MUD I've ever played, an I must say, eets far more indepth than I ever thought possible. Gettin married!? Wow, citymates, housemates, friends, spouse and children no less! Not ta mention all the other activities available ta the would be adventurer. Just fer the record, Channa an I are very happy with our marriage an our children. I couldn't of asked fer a better partner. Yes, there are many thins that could go wrong with IC an OOC situations. Meh personal experience, so far, is that many bring thier RL problems here. Eet follers em everywhere they go. I'm a roleplayer, an roleplayin is what I love ta do. Yes, part of meh RL personality comes out here, ya just can't help eet, heh. However, when ya make a character, have in mind what eet is ya want ta do, ta be. Eet took me a while ta figure out how I wanted ta present mehself ta others. I personally, do not talk like this in RL, heh. Have a mind picture of how ya want ta act, talk, look, an who yer willin ta be with married or otherwise, then, go from there. Ya will find yer way if ya stick with eet. Ya don't need ta be married ta be happy, iffin yer not happy with yerself, heh, well, yer not gonna be happy with a spouse. The only one who can make ya happy, in RL or here, is yerself.

I also have alts in Achaea, an, I've made characters in all of Ironrealms worlds but, hands down, Bellor is meh first an most favorite one ta play. I hope ya all have as great a time here as I have, an gettin married is like addin salt ta cub stew, eet adds flavor.

 

Only in MUDs do people propose with severed heads. :D

I agree with alot of these comments...keeping it private is key.  Unless you want to flaunt it but you must be willing to pay the consquences.  I am making me character wait til she gets married before she will do anything. I want to make her look more honourable to those in her city. Plus RP ing hard to get makes people want you that much more :P  And if your easy and try to sleep your way to the top people frown on that.  So in other words keep your legs closed until you find "the one"

 

That's an interesting thought...finding a new IRL spouse. Maybe then it won't matter if my IG fiance doesn't want to take my family name. I can just find a new fiance without any RL implications. Might try that... :-P

I don't think I could ever do it . . . if it's text, there's still another person on the other end. That's still cheating, isn't it? Maybe if I were single IRL.

Long ago, and far away, my very first Achaean character got married to a fellow sentinel. I can still remember the groom and in-law's names, for some reason. But though the ceremony was interesting in itself, I lost interest in the character shortly after. It was just awkward. I moved on to Aetolia a couple years later, and I haven't repeated the experience in that game. It might be interesting to see if being older and wiser (and more careful about ooc communique) would make it better or worse.

Make sure your spouse to be wants the same children as you do, because even if she doesn't drive you nuts, the kids will. I know this from experience.

Don't rush into anything. My character got hitched to someone and after a while things got...dramatic. Make sure whoever your character gets married to won't start guilting you about not spending enough time with him/her, and causing lots of drama. It was like having a real life spouse in all the negatives with none of the positives.

 

Informative and makes me further consider potential relationships within the text-based world.

Yeah, honestly it's probably best if you wouldn't do it OOC you don't do it IC. If your in a private area, people won't care so much. If your in town square getting it on, they will talk. You don't want to see them, they don't want to see you...except for a few people out there, and they are on their own.

 

I just feel sorry for the Immortals that happen to stumble upon said activities. They see everything!!!

an idiot semi-novice in Lusternia who wanted to snuggle with some chick in a god's fulcrux, basically Her home. Needless to say, the goddess wasn't pleased.

My first character in  Lusternia was female, and got married after a while to a person in her guild. This person quickly started talking about meeting up, talking over the phone, and so on. When I started playing a second character, I made the mistake of mentioning it to him. He ended up divorcing me because I had an alt in a city our mains were opposed to.

 

I won't mention his name, because anyone in Lusternia knows him. But yeah, it's funny stuff.

I agree to the five points - just like in a real life relationship, in-game relationships take time, privacy, and dedication.

So please, think before you get hitched! Or engaged, or married.

I don't think a good marriage can happen IC, but you definitely need to know the person behind your chosen partner first. Get to know the person behind the character OOC, talk things through, develop a good rapport before diving into a relationship. If you don't, your relationship is sure to fail.

 Good read :)

I love mud sex.

I don't think I'd get into a MUD rs for now

Still too young for one

So

When I made this Character (Erasabeth) I already knew what I -wanted- to do with her.. I just needed someone to fall into her story line. Thankfully, my RL boyfriend and I have been playing Achaea as other characters together for a while now, and he agreed to make a new character, so that my RP would actually work. Needless to say, due to the nature of their RP, Erasabeth and Cancelia (boyfriend's character) got engaged almost as soon as they were able, despite people thinking they were twins. 

 

Usually I wouldn't have a character get engaged so young, due to past experiences and all that, but in this case, it was an avenue that the characters themselves would have followed. Erasabeth and Cancelia been engaged for more than 100 Achaean months, and I don't see them actually moving on to the -actual- Marriage stage for quite a while, since there's an avenue of RP that needs to be crossed before that happens (And that part just hasn't come to fruition yet!)

I don't think anyone has the patience required to make a relationship work with Fay.

heh

Winter doesn't have a family as in she hasn't been bloodlined, but she does have childer and she does have her House which she considers to be her family as well as she has friends. She is egaged to someone, it's interesting...

Hmmm

It's your game and your character.

You also have to consider if you can both be online at the same time which may be hard sometimes

Yep... seeing each other for more than five minutes a week is certainly helpful.

 

Avoiding someone who might go dormant soonish is pretty hard, though, since some people spontaneously cease to be around for a while before returning for a varying amount of time. while others are gone for good. I suppose that is the moment for you to decide whether you RP a patient person or not.

I think that while having an IC relationship is  very nice, because you can vent to somebody, OOC is far more touchy. At some point, the two intermingle and it because a MUD relationship, which I find is very acceptable. Everynow and then, its fun to just be with somebody and not have to go hunting all lonely and solo like!

I avoid IC romantic relationships because I'm with someone IRL. The only person i would marry IC would be my OOC partner. It wouldn't feel right. To me, there is a certain realness to it, and if you're oocly invovled, it is cheating. regardless of whether its in a bar down the road, or in a forest in the game, sex is sex.

been married in game. I think to have a good relationship you have to be friends more than anything. why ruin it with mudsex

Wow

I am a super newbie in mudding, and I feel like I am playing a different game. I am married and I have a beautiful daughter in RL. I would never jeopardize my RL with an IC marriage, however I do not think it would happen in my case.

However, reading the articles and your comments made me think a lot. I am a newbie at this game, but my conclusion is that it is highly probable that RL and IC become intertwined by a MUD IC relationship and IC marriage, especially if mudsexing shows up.

Maybe the main point that makes things get messy is whether the MUD is considered a game or something more. If the involved parties share similar answers, things are going to be ok for them. On the contrary, issues may arise. I also think that if mudsexing is some sort of cybersexing, the boundaries are broken and becomes a genuine RL relationship, at least in my opinion.

Very interesting.

I guess it all depends on how the game is perceived. If it is considered an alternate reality, which defenitively sort of is, IC and RL should never cross.  If it is perceived more like a FB sort of thing, that IRE could resemble a dating agency.

 

Dating Agency? Could be profitable, indeed.

My first character got married and did the mudsex thing - it was lame and didn't last long.

 

I keep Seth away from any kind of personal IC relationship, much easier and less distracting from my past times of idling and making random buttons in cmud.

Yeah...you should take your time before jumping into a relationship..time is probably the biggest revealer of people who just are not compatible with you one way or another...

Take your time, think it out, and try to have the characters get to know each other well first.

RL

This works in RL too!

Avoid it like the plaaague.

It's a tarp.

nah

its a niche roleplay I've never been interested in

In my limited experience, Lusternian marriages are rarely about love.