Text Games: Dealing With Virtual Bullies

rpg game griefer

“Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names’ll never hurt me.” This bears scant truth for victims of bullies. Despite how strong victims appears in public, it still hurts inside. If you think it doesn’t apply to you, read on. Everyone is a potential victim! Even in addicting games, bullies threaten others as a way to deal with their own inadequacies.

 

Who is likely to become a victim? Ironically, the same people who are likely to become bullies! Race, religion, sexual orientation, distinguishing features...and anything else that can label a person as being different from everyone else. Bullying can happen both in private and public...and even in your favorite Iron Realms RPG game!

 

Types of Bullies in Text Games

 

 There are as many bully types as there are victims. It can happen to any type of character in a text game! The primary types are physical, who attack tangibly, and emotional, who attack mentally.

 

 Some physical RPG bullies are tanky PvP combat junkies with a pre-purchased system to provide an extra edge over the competition. But some take cyber bullying outside the game environment, in technological ways. Said one text game player, “I posted a video of myself doing a USB-controller build with custom drivers. I’m overweight, and smoke. Naturally, the trolls found me. They made parodies of my video, with fairly cruel impressions. It was enough to make me remove the video and post the build in text-form elsewhere without the visual benefit.” This blow was no less painful than a physical punch.

 

 Another loyal IRE text game player offered, “My character accepted her Prince Charming’s marriage proposal. But I spent days after logging in to dozens of whiney messages from his ex. I finally snubbed her and she did move on; but reading those every day was draining! I log into the text game from various remote locations, and hated dealing with that day in an day out.” Fortunately, all five Iron Realms text games offer a way to ignore players! In Aetolia the command is literally IGNORE to stop paying attention to someone, while in the other rpg games it is SNUB.

 

Emotional bullies, or 'griefers', work behind the scenes. Whether creating clans to gossip or lacing hate speech into otherwise normal conversations with the victim, this bully is a miserable soul. When asked about his experience, another player replied: “They are relentless! I had serious problems with someone in another text game before finding IRE. One bully harassed me no matter what I did, unprovoked. Even if I was in safe chat mode! I made an alt just to escape being attacked. Yeah, I could’ve reported it. But it was easier to just start over.” 

 

Responding to Bullies in Text Games

 

So how can you defend yourself against bullies? Whether in real life or an RPG game, the methods for standing up for yourself against bullies can be similar.

- Talk to someone you trust. In an IRE text game, it could be someone in leadership, your family mentor.

- If possible, keep a copy of the details outside the game of each event of bullying. Should it need to be reported, documentation outside the game provides additional credibility to back up your claims.

- Report them. Don’t assume you’ll come off sounding like a tattling child from primary school. Administrators are meticulous in their record-keeping. Just because you don’t see Them, doesn’t mean that They don’t see you -- or that They haven’t punished the bully!

 

Bullies exist. It doesn’t make it right, but remember, it can always be worse. As one player stated, “For years in my old game, I was bullied by a high-ranking person with a history of purchasing loads of extras. My friends and I were low-levels without the bonus features. We reported him, but nothing happened. I left and didn’t look back. With IRE...it’s different. Fair policies apply equally to everyone. Once when I was a newbie, someone picking on me got punished. I feel like IRE cares about me as a player and it makes me want to invest in credits. I’m not paying to play the game. I’m making an investment in my character’s future.”

 

Penelope Swain is a text game enthusiast who enjoys the best rpg games from Iron Realms!

Comments

Bullies are pathetic people. One way of dealing with them is not yielding at all, most of them are trying to ilicit some kind of response from you and it might help to simply ignore them and hope they get bored and move along. While some others might stop pestering you if you give in for once, but that's very very iffy and is more likely to end up marking you as a willing victim. Tough life!

Snub is one of the best little commands for many circumstances, sadly not the all-cure.

Snub is amazing -- I know it's a last resort for anything, but at least it stops them from ruining the experience for you in the games. Just wish I could snub people in real life. :/

Though I typically don't get griefed in the supermarket or anything like that. Anonymity doth make the asshole bold :P

Indeed.  I've found ignoring to be the best tactic.  It's not all that hard to do unless they're making a point of stalking you, in which case you likely have cause to snub/issue/etc.

it's nice to screw with them back.

Yea

That is sometimes the best way to deal with them. Most of the time they can dish it out way better than they can take it.

Good point.  Those that have fun harrassing often don't appreciate retaliation in kind.  It does have a tendency to escalate matters, however, so you want to be ready to work a bit if you take this route.

 

me too. i'd rather have the admin deal with the jerks.

They are all basically the same across all types. Like you said Ada they are probably just trying to get a response from you because they are missing something.

Discipline, most likely. And friends!

It's too bad that people find it fun to torture someone. I've had to snub a few people who would attack me merely because I was easy to kill. Since then I have learned to defend myself and can usually make it out alive. 

That's the important thing. If your not an easy target, you are much less likely to get bullied.

It's pretty screwed up

It's pretty screwed up

Uh huh.

They are everywhere, sometimes it's hard to escape them. I just hope people know there is a way in IRE because they care.

Good point. IRE is a great company.

 

Griefing sucks, I've never been a victim but I can understand how it could make some people want to quit the game. Although I think 'griefing' is a subjective term, for example when the Qashar clan in Achaea was going around ganking people 5 versus 1, they were mostly targetting people who they had PK on or were open PK to the whole game. A lot of people cried "grief" but a lot of people also put themselves into situations where they might be 'griefed'.

 

A good rule of thumb is, have thicker skin and a bigger posse of friends.

It's sad that all too often the people who do things that result in being griefed are often the ones who complain loudest about the alleged griefers, making it more difficult for true victims to get any kind of justice for their own situations. :(

Pk

Just learn to defend yerself and pk their butt.

I agree.

In Lusternia, PK is removed if one is off prime plane, problem is that most people are off-prime!

That's odd. On Achaea, going off-plane usually lets people PK for no reason.

That's sort of what he meant. The ingame system offers a bit of defense against being repeatedly pked on prime. you're open game elsewhere (and unlike other many other games, Lusternia is more about being off prime...part of your home territory which you're expected to defend is even off prime).

You need thick skin. Don't let words get to you. Talk to a friend. There are many willing to help. Do not seek vengeance.

-

Unless you're a part of Lady Keresis' order in Achaea!

Vengeance is what helps best, sometimes.

Vengeance sounds like a great idea, but unfortentely the person who randomly killed me was level 105 (plus artifacts) and I am 21 or so, so it is not much of a possibility, especially since he can slaughter nighthawks.

Did you report him?

Except when taken out of context:

http://forums.achaea.com/index.php?showtopic=40689&view=findpost&p=1294230

 

I'm so vain, I probably thought that song was about me...

giving them a right smacking seems almost.. righteous.

But it also feels SO good.

Agreed.

The more friends the better...the number of bullies will be few,your option on friends however are hundreds.

Don't waste your precious time on worrying about them,put your trust and energy into friends!

This is a great point of view. It's sometimes amazing how focusing on the positive can sometimes just make the bad things go away. it's not always that simple, though.

Do not give them what they want and almost all will go away sooner or later. It's just that simple. Why even respond to them or give them any satisfaction at all? Most people really aren't worth knowing anyhow...

Point: Deny them their high.

Oh griefers, they exist in every game.

That's true, but personally I've seen less in IRE games than in most others.

Do we have a sense for how widespread this is in IRE games? I've never really had anything like this happen in Achaea.

I used to play Achaea. It has the largest playerbase and I think... well, yes, largest amount of griefers, as well. Thieves sorta are, in a sense, I guess?

Theft is not bullying.

 

Usually.

 

One time, IC, EVER to the best of my knowledge, someone wanted someone else to steal from my character because their character was mad at mine (and my char DID start it.)

 

I think theft in Achaea, the chance of it, adds to realism. I think the theft nerfs have hurt more than they help.

 

One of my characters, long before this one, was robbed. I had no real antitheft, and was an easy mark because of it. At first I was angry but... I learned interesting things, including how to defend myself better.

 

Anyway, back on-topic, I understand how theft can be seen as bullying, but I don't believe it is. It is something entirely different.

Having a thief rob ( or attempt to rob) one of your IG enemies/rivals isn't bullying, its a good attempt at utilizing IC methods to further story lines and RP!

Not that an honourable Maldaathi would do such a thing :P

If they weren't so pathetically miserable/bitter/jealous, they wouldn't be bullies. I seem to be finding myself using this motto more often lately, you know if someone is being nasty or bitter towards you, its because they have this overwhelming feeling of hate/anger/bitterness which lashes out verbally or physically, I think if they didn't have these feelings and they were psychologically fine, then they would know when to step away from the keyboard or know not to care about lording themselves over other people. I know from my own experience, when I have wanted to grief someone (normally the idiotic trolls and the village idiots and the bullies, I don't go out of my way to be an arsehat)- then I would have an overhwelming feeling in the pit of my stomach to go ahead and do it.

Moral of the story; If you're being bullied, you know that person behind the screen is full up with rage and hate, who have been so absorbed by a game, that they suddenly start manifesting it into something real, alas, when they look up from their screen, in their dimly lit room, with dirty take away clothing on and they are seeing double from staring at the screen, then they realize how insignificant their lives are becoming and how ashamed of themselves they are.

 

Reality check bullies! Think before you act! Who are you trying to kid? If you fail at life, don't try and make up for it in a game, make an attempt at life again...do you really care enough about a pixilated character, to sit for an hour plotting how to remove them from the game? If someone is going to fail a game, then they will do it all by themselves.

Couldn't've said it better myself, Vasi.

I think the important part is to be happy with who you are IRL and realise that the opinions of someone halfway across the world should not have such a negative effect on you.

Of course, I suppose MUDs are not exactly hotspots for those completely happy with their RL-selves. Hrm!

It's not just here. The world is full of them and they are no happier than they make others feel. tis a sad thing.

You're right, I think it's interesting how some people work very hard to drag you down to their level, to impose their misery on you.

 

What I dislike the most are liar bullies - who do their very best to destroy the relationships of others. They probably do this out of complete jealousy because they wish they had better friends. Unfortunately, these bullies tend to succeed because "Victim A" will lash out at "Victim B" about something that the LIAR said they did - and then Victim B responds with another lash-  thus causing a rift in their friendship.

I have come across a lot of people like this, and I know a lot of people get worked up over those people, but that is the effect they are looking for. If you sit back and think about it and look at it from a different angle, you will slowly start to see a pattern forming, and sometimes it really is best to say nothing at all, because when you don't, those chars/people, tend to ruin themselves, as hard as it is to say nothing at all.

Especially when they take it to an ooc level and lie about you as a person and your actions. At that point it becomes personal and not something happening to your character. That's the kind that will make me question if it's worth staying around in a game.

Just ignore them in my opinion.

ya

 

ignore, they'll get tired and move onto easier prey :o

Generally works.

 

Ignoring will usually, not always, work

 

IRE does a nice job helping to handle this problem

 

Ignoring bullies doesn't always work, and depending on the situation, can make you a bigger target. Sometimes it works, though it takes a while. The best defence, though, is a good offence; if you're being bullied, you don't need to bully back, but you do need to stand up for yourself.

To me there are a few types of IRE bullies, one being a lot like real life bullies: they have home and life problems they feel they can't fix and so decide to submerge themselves into something (this case being IRE games), while still trying to convince everyone else they live an entirely healthy lifestyle; most of the time, they are successful in this, and so they come out being the "better/cooler, better adjusted" person because of their bullying (and they will usually target people who don't spell very well or are able to eloquently express themselves). Which is exactly what they want, they want to come out on top because they have problems they don't want to admit to or feel incapable of fixing. Putting other people down makes them feel better about themselves (and a lot of time, they feel, hey... it's the Internet, I'm anonymous, they're anonymous, I'm not ACTUALLY hurting anyone).

On the other hand, some bullies just find it amusing to be a bully and get a reaction, though they are not much better than the people above. They still feel that something in their life is lacking and need to lash out.

If you're being bullied, consider if it's actual bullying; someone says something mean to you once, maybe twice, but otherwise you don't hear from them, that is not being bullied.

They go out of their way to put you down, that IS bullying.

They do whatever they can to disrupt your game time, you're not just being bullied, you are being harassed. If this is the case, contact IRE, and let them know. IRE does care, but as a business, they can't do much if you haven't done anything to support your claims.

All that being said, also grow thicker skin. IRE players aren't known for their good manners or friendliness once you get past the newbie stage.

Nah

Disagree with only that last bit. Generally players are plenty nice.

There are a few names that spring to mind less than favorably, but large in part people are good folk. At least the people I know.

Yes, I've had fun encounters even with enemies. Deep down most people are reasonable.

Agree with most of this, it normally is people who have problems at home who try and better themselves in a game. Growing a thicker skin, really does help when it comes to IRE games, I only play the one game, but I cannot believe the ammount of rude people I have come across, it's almost as if they feel they have a given right or it is the norm for them. Its meant to be a group of mature people, who can play together and get along nicely, granted you aren't going to get on with everyone but that's when you just agree to disagree, some people demand a justification OOC as to why you play the way you do, when it really is none of their business and I think that is where a large part of the bullying comes in. When you RP with others, I think you need to have a certain amount of respect for the people around you who are playing, as well as yourself. Unfortunatly, there is no questionnaire at the intro of a game which has a tick box for: 'Are you a self righteous, trolling little p***k?' Please tick the yes or no box *ticks yes* oh you are?  Sorry no go, do not pass go, do not collect your 200 silver!

Another thought, never feed a troll or give someone the ammunition they need to fire back at you, if they are set on bullying you, if you don't answer back, they have nothing to respond to. Unless they are happy to go along talking to themselves.

PvP bullies are easy enough to deal with, if you aren't a combatant, just issue em.

 

Really?? 

 

Find a better in game way to resolve problems, if you can. Its a ROLEPLAYING game. That means, all roles, not just the roles that make YOU happy. Solve problems In character if you can, use Issues as a last resort not a first defence. 

In-Character "bullying" should be dealt with by IC means whenever possible. To suggest otherwise is silly. Some people forget too easily that they're supposed to be role playing a character that, for example, might be in the military. Newsflash: opposing militiaries aren't going to like you.

Very true. Not all characters you meet will be nice to you, specially with opposing goals. 

This is true but sometimes people cross the line from from bullying or harassing the character to bullying or harassing the player.  The problem for someone wanting to play an antagonistic character is that they do not and cannot set where this line is, only the person on the receiving end can.

 

The problem is that if they are being abusive on an OOC level it isn't something that you could politely ask them to tone down to make it more enjoyable for everyone, hence the need to talk to a third party (typically admin).

I completely agree on an OOC level. My point was that a lot of folks expect to be protected from bullying/harrassment in an IC context.

I agree.

Griefers gonnna grief?

 

IC should be the first response, but sometimes, people take it too far. There definately should be player to player OOC communication first before it goes to administrative methods though.

Bullying is easily taken from someone's OOC personality into their IC, crossing that line of reality. Fair enough if you have enemies, of course your enemies are going to oppose you, but like you said, some people take it too far, to the point where the OOC person doesn't want you in the game anymore, so they use IC ways to bully you.

join them!

Bullies suck. I don't like dealing with them in a game when I get home from a shitty day at work. Gotta cheer for zapping gods.

usually the crappier it really is

 

Bullying is terrible and it effects many people, not just the ones targetted. Bullying shouldn't be the only word being used here, though. There are other ways to not only ruin a person's RP by talking about them on an OOC level, but also not approaching the problem. Gossiping about someone can destroy relationships and friendships, as there is always physical evidence of the damage being done.

 

To be completely honest, even people you believe are your friends will always have something to say about you. It's easy to fake a text friendship so be careful who you tell things to. Do you remember 'Telephone' in elementary school? You tell someone a sentence and by the time it gets to the end of the circle something has changed, even if it's just slightly. How did me saying that I liked Mary's shoes turn into you think she's a whore? It happens.

there is always some buttface who will bother you.

People seem to care so much about getting bullied, I've never really cared. It amuses me when other people whine about how so and so is such a jerk. Takes a REAL bad dude to get me like that, and it isn't often.

My character is a crazy murderer, so bullying people is just part of his roleplay.

Then again, most eleusians are 'crazy something', so no surprises there, heh

You are one.

Rarely experienced anything that seriously got to me.  My view is I am getting upset from it, I need a break.

Luckily I have a unofficial confidante to talk to. Or else I would have gone crazy

LOL I just realised that picture of the fatguy is from a Southpark episode. That was a real bully and a griefer!@

lol

lol

Yeah, I've had to deal with a few bullies. Never did figure out who started the rumour about Faustine being a prostitute, but that's probably for the best.

 

Having a support structure of people who care about you is really the best defense against bullying, in my experience. Its certainly what got me through that debacle.

I have a disorder and I've experienced bullying all my life. I guess there's something about weakness that tempts others to exploit it. I think it's human nature. It's a way to eliminate those who can't handle the real world I guess. Nature isn't fair. But it really hurts to have to fight all the time. Thanks for the tips so those of us who are among the "weaker" can maybe stand up for ourselves.

I'm sorry you think so poorly of human nature, having experienced the immaturity of bullies for so long.

 

Personally, I believe there may be elements of this, but bullying behaviour stems from a lack of self-esteem, just as bullying victims suffer when they allow themselves to be bullied.

 

A previous character of mine was approached by a bully, who quickly became bored with my character's lack of responce.

 

Bullies are, at their core, attention whores.

 

I would much rather pay attention to those who earn it with entertainment value, such as the Ty Beirdd teaches through its clan, the Academie of Fine Arts, than those who demand attention through combat prowess.

 

Achaean combat bullies: I'm not sure you know who you are, IC or OOC. If you're reading this, you are probably thinking you're not a bully because your victims DESERVED it, OOC. Hell, I might agree with you that whiner is whiny, etc., but there has to be a better way. If you kill them for whining, and you're not Mhaldorian, they just whine when you're not around - and possibly via ISSUE ME so you don't know about it.

 

Achaean emotional bullies are harder to spot. They're usually female and the movie 'Mean Girls' was all about them. It's also harder to tell if this 'bullying' is IC or OOC. There is a certain person whose name I will withhold, who is the best IC emotional bully I've ever met. You'd know her if you met her, trust me. And yet. I don't feel she's like this OOC. She's gone so far out of her way to help me, ICly and OOCly, despite her high standards of RP and my low skill at it, to demonstrate to me that this is the case. I can't speak for others' experiences with her, only my own, but I have nothing bad to say about the player behind this 'bully.'

 

This is what separates knowing your strengths and weaknesses from low self-esteem: the emotional energy and emphasis one puts into the negative aspect, and lack of pride in the positive aspect. For example, in the above paragraph, I stated that I am not good at RP. I am, however, good at writing limericks, when I put my mind to it. It's hard to work on my RP skills, and easy to sharpen my limerick-writing skills, but I know I grow as a person by working on both, and then some. If I had low self-esteem, I'd be beating myself up over my poor RP skills and wave away my limerick-writing strength as useless.

 

If you realise you have low self-esteem, then you've taken the first step to becoming immune to bullies, both being bullied and becoming a bully. But that is a topic for a place that is not Achaea, nor any IRE game.

Call me insensitive, a jerk, whatever you will.  But online bullying? Come on now, if your psyche is weak enough to let some jerk behind a keyboard really get to you, you have bigger problems than being bullied.

 

It's much easier to harrass someone online than IRL. When online they have nearly 24/7 access to you and normally in the times when you are relaxed and less on guard. Cyber-bullying is real, not that I would accuse many people on IRE games of doing it.

Not only 24/7 access to you, but they also have that screen as a buffer, so they don't have to watch your reaction face to face. And being behind a screen gives them time to think up a really cutting remark/retort/etc., which IRL would likely make them appear more dull-witted than they wish to be portrayed as.

 

But yeah. It seems the old legal axiom "let them face their accuser" has gone by the wayside in lieu of the Internet.

Zorn, where are you ? :)

(btw, your name sounds like a girl's ! :D)

Stop being a bully Savil.
You know you love me.

Are the best remedy.

I like to think people are good. I mean, that they're generally okay, and not always mean and vindictive and vengeful and petty. I like to think that most of the time I'm right. Bullying...it's not nice, but the people who do it aren't evil. They're just people. People whose lives sometimes suck so bad they get mad and need to kick a puppy. Or something like that.

Bullying sounds more personal than griefing. When I think of griefing, it's more like, an angry person going around killing newbies or afkers on a rampage. No specific target. Done mostly for the lulz. Bullying just seems to have a meaner twist in its meaning.

(...and lol @Savil.)

Friend are indeed the best remedy in my opinion. Surround yourself with them and you shouldn't have a worry about stupid bullies, they're just trying to get a reaction from you. (Usually, though there is always something else that they could benefit from if it wasn't a reaction they wanted..)

...come across any real "bullies" in my time with IRE. Sure, there are griefers everywhere, but I think actual bullying is quite rare, fortunately.

 

I haven't been playing these games for too long, but I have yet to encounter a bully.

Life says hi

I tend to try to speak with the person OOC if i feel I am being bullied.  It's amasing how many people don't realize thier taking things a little to far, usualy with those who play the "evil" character.  Failing in comming to an understanding that way is when I go for the ISSUE or SNUB depending on the severity. I have to say though, I've only had to SNUB and ISSUE one person respectfuly in the time i've been playing so I don't see bullying to be that big an issue.

I'm uncomfortable with the broadening of the concept of bullying, both in this article and in rl. Bullying does exist, and it's a terrible thing, I would come down like a hammer, like a lightening bolt if someone bullys my kids, but not every interpersonal conflict is bullying.

 

Too many times what's considered bullying is one person responding physically to someone who is actually taunting them.

 

I've had conflict with people before in game which is less a reflection of IC and more of a reflection of rl personality.

 

Sometimes we just don't get along.

 

They will always be there or around, but from what i have seen the administration do deal with issues like these forcefully, sometimes too forcefully.

team them! every chance you get!

Ha

Well played sir, well played

Don't take it to heart, literally, remember it's a game.

 

And don't get pissy when you join a city that's full of em.

Sometimes it's hard not to cross the line, when you spend RL hours/days on something ruined by someone else for example.

Love the picture for this article!

Vote on MPOGRvote for Achaea on MPOGR!

 

I'll Vote!

^_^

voted.

Sure

Never encountered bullies online, but I have heard stories both online and in real life. 

Also, *hugggg*

I've seen bullying done before.  It's unfortunate that it's done.

There really are a lot of bullies rolling around IRE. Conversely, there are a lot of people crying wolf about bullies. I really don't envy the administration trying to sort out whole story.

 

Luckily, there is always a solution to your problem, you don't have to endure someone stalking you or harrassing you.

 

I haven't met a bully in game yet but I'm sure at some point I will. Now I have met a bunghole and I cheerfully ignored him.

Suck!

unfortunatly, whenever you draw from a large group of people, you will get bullies

Surprised you didn't use the icon for the Bully computer game. South Parks' gross.

It is crass and low brow.

perfect picture

...there's always going to be a rotten apple wherever you go. Good article!

Hm

It does seem that certain roles attract more though. I find you get way more grief sorts in places that have black and white evil/good sides. Lots of shades dilute the jerks.

Now all I can think of is the Sword of a Thousand Truths...

Haters gonna hate.

Is good roleplay, in my opinion. When you're playing a role, anything that is said or done to you is IC, and shouldn't break that barrier to affect you, personally. It sucks all the wind out of an antagonist's sails when they don't get the reaction they're looking for.

 

That's the solution for small-time bullying. For more constant issues, like harassment or stalking, there are the OOC alternatives.

Much like real-life, bullying exists. It's only a problem when it stops being roleplay and turns into actual bullying...soon as that happens, let the admin deal with it.

I don't know, last paragraph sounds like a poorly written insurance company advertisement. Did you make it up?

All kinds of people you want to avoid, and not bothering those you care for.

Just break the wrist and sweep the legs.

I don't remember been bullied at Lusternia. But I don't remember too much. In fact, I don't remember what I was writing here. Hello?

I think there is a thin line between playing a 'bully' in-game and being a real verbal bully/stalker. My opinion is the IC/OOC line. If the person steps out of character to attack you as a person out of the game (i.e. Facebook, Twitter, etc) then they crossed the line. Now, that's not to say that repeated abuse in-game should be justified in the name of Arpee. The best thing to do is ask those test questions: Have my character done anything for me to become a target? Is this person doing this because I'm part of the other camp? If you answer 'no', then I suggest you do what the article recommends and start logging it for a formal complaint.

Unfortunately, the Internet is an extension of the human psyche and while we have ways of dealing it in the real world like bats, guns, cars, and rearranging noses it's kinda of hard to get to the person behind a monitor. So, do what I do... laugh it off and keep on truckin or you cound just find out where they live and truck their house. But why bother?

 

I am a bully. How can I stop?

Meh, don't bother!

:D

I don't assume to sound like a tattling child, I just assume the issue will be over-looked or the punishment to be so minor it won't change their actions at all. *sigh*

Ive met quite a few, Used to get upset but it really is not worth it

 

Hrm

Guess I've been lucky.

Oh there's no bullies in MKO :P

Complete lies you thieving toerag! I'm gonna come bully you now, just so you don't feel left out! :)

Keep in mind that Achaea is a living breathing world with many ways to deal with bullies.  I don't like that many are just saying to issue, since that's an OOC solution to what might very well be an IC problem (someone may be IC bullying you).  There are plenty of alternatives political, social, economical and physical in nature.

 

That said, my personal favourite?  Mind crush spam.

I think I mentioned this in my comment entitled, 'Human nature.'

 

Should I be raising an eyebrow at the fact that you have a favourite?

It's not bullying, but the worst social experience I've had in a mud was a really 'clingy' person. I didn't want to just blow them off - it would have upset him, and I felt a bit sorry for him.

But he was always sending tells and messages and asking me how I was going. It ended up putting me off playing a bit - especially since ICly my character would never want to have anything to do with him.

Yes

There are quite a few of these people around and nowadays I just pretend I didn't hear them.

In MKO ? I never heard of these, maybe only the female chars are concerned ?

 

I haven't come across many bullies..several braggarts and a few power trippers but no outright bullies, thankfully. Games are supposed to be an escape for people, not something they should be intimidated by.

Many people make the mistake of putting bullies and evily alligned RP into the same category and throw issues around like they are a trivial thing. Some people out there need to realize not everything is flowers and candy and let the rp of "bullies" go and just live with a world that has the realities of polarity.

I mentioned this in my comment entitled 'Human nature.'

 

Thank you for saying the same thing differently; hopefully between us, more people can understand the perspective?

reallllllllly irk me.

Meh i've never really had this problem to bad. I'd seek out ig ways to solve it before I ever thought about a issue or snub.

Is why I don't believe they should allow iron realms games to be supposed to be "for all ages" should be mature, and should be enforced.

But iirc, were YOU not a young teen when you started playing Achaea?

i think it's always going to be in some of the human population to want to be bullies. what the internet has done has put the bullying in an environment where they can't physically harm people. i know emotionally it hurts sometimes more than a physical blow, but at least it's not as savage.

Sometimes people bring it upon themselves.

*coughBULLYcough*

Personal responsibility is personal.

Or swords, magic, whatever you use. I find it sad. Especially during RP-rich situations, they choose to jump into actual PK-ing instead of enjoying the possible rich storyline that can be dragged onto a rivalry-nemesis thing.

:|

:|

Hi!

*hugggg*

Sad.

 

:(

<-- sad panda

 

two

I've met two bullies. Though one did not bully me, the other one did and I've learned to just ignore them. Not IGNORE but just stay away from them. IG at least. OOC bullies make me really angry and i've learned from past experiences to just stay away from them as well, and just ignore anything they do say when you have to be around them...

 

kill them with kindness..they normally walk away confused if you can. 

I had a few people bulling me IG for a long time due to being young, silly and standing up to the wrong person. So they found me a easy target.

It was very shocking to see the lengths one person in particular went too. It ranged from spreading rumours to having people OOC hating on me, to even being bullied by others in game for no other reason than this particular person was part of a group of people who have played  together for a long time and supported them. This was not fun at all me being bullied because I was still only 14 years old and easily upset by them.

 

However in the end what made it easier was finding out that one of them live in my home town, was a fat ugly, trade school dropout, with no life except for the one in their head. Best part is seeing them around and knowing that no matter how much they try to get at me, they are still a fat ugly nobody that only has the spine to pick on little kids from behind a screen.

As for the others they gave up in the end, so I have no ill feelings towards them.

I have to admit, I find it amusing that always whenever bullying is brought up in any fora, everyone comes out of the woodwork to play at being a psychiatrist. Seems the net doesn't just make it easier to be a bully. It makes it easier to jump in  with well-meaning advice and encouragement.

I would not use this phrase, quite. People simply have a great variety of experiences, and when you mention any topic in any forum, online or off, people aware of it, with relevant experience may choose to share theirs, and the lessons they have learned. Naturally, not everyone's personal experience is appropriate, just as not all advice generated applies.

 

If the topic of this article were not bullying but, for example, building a computer system for someone who plays MUDS competitively, there would be a lot of comments about details on-topic, from those with experience in the field, and nobody would think twice about the fact that so many 'computer experts' or insert-synonym-here were responding.

 

tl;dr: it may amuse you, but I find your comment lacked forethought.

 

At times I find it hard to seperate bullying from IG attacks, but inversely sometimes bullies justfiy their actions by saying they're RP'ing a bully.

The best RPers consider both the caracter and the player behind the character..

The MUDs are games, and inherent to anything it is conflict that drives them, if everyone got along we wouldn't roleplay, might as well use a chatroom instead.

It is possible though and unfortunate when it does that a rich in game conflict gets drug out and becomes the subject of malicious facebook conversations, subject to the 'forum-brigade' and even unpleasant emails.

Thieves, conflict, enemies, death in game can be good roleplay even for the one on the 'losing' side. This is a game we play with other people, we can't win all the time, so lets take the losses, the conflicts and if you are a winner make it fun for the loser, if you are the loser, shake your fist, and vow to return, they can never crush your spirit.

 

 

 

I guess most people mentioned it already, but Imperian is the most PvP focused game of the IRE ones and you are more or less required to be able to defend yourself. HOWEVER a person who doesn't interact in PvP for some reason is almost never targetted. 

 

SNUB is an excellent combination along with getting your city / guild leaders aware. If it go out of hands.. there is always the possibility to ISSUE another character and then the admins deal with it.

Well, can you name a non-combatant person in Imperian who have been playing long enough and never ever have been targeted? I think it's just an urban legend.

seems rather radical.

Mostly you can just ignore them.

 

Yeah, that's what I've found too.

You can't help just wonder how many times stomping the living daylights outta that jerk who annoys you so much may not have necessarily happened due to the purest of motivations. I find that a lot of the time, "bullies" feel their victim "has it coming". And funnily enough, when the tables are turned, and your bully has been dealt with, you sometimes get in a few extra needling stabs yourself.

 

From my experience, most people who cry "bully" do the same sort of things themselves when given the right position to do so. I'm not saying that it makes what happened to them in the first place any less bad. I'm merely saying that it's always bullying when it happens to you, but it's usually totally justified when it's happening to that other jerk.

My character is very weak but I never found anyone bulling me. I remeber I replied to a newbie in a snappy way, and I was told to act differently. I think that was a good advise, and I also learnt that someone is always watching you. However, ingnoring the bullies is the best way to go.

On a different note, the Southpark episode about WoW was the best ever!

^

That. Ignore them...or find ways to eliminate them without rising to their challenge as they want you to.

Quite agree. Snub them, maneuver against them, pay someone to kill them repeatedly. All lovely options to deal with a neighbourhood pest. ^_^

Would it be a pipe dream for me to imagine that one day, someone will ICly RP attack me... yes, that would be fun. Someone from an enemy organization, or something, yeah? That would be nice. Jumping ICly before... well, the combat can come later?

Psh, everyone knows if you RP they'll just run away, hence the logical kill first, RP after when they are licking their wounds or redeffing.

Guess you could throw in some talking as that can be done off balance.

Bullying? That is like what IRE is all about ... PK -.- Nobody RPs any more :(

I like Achaea's way to punish bullies and shrubs are fine adorement

O

Never had to deal with OOC bullying through a text game, but there are plenty of griefers in game.

Mocking them doesn't help but it sure is fun to do.

SHRUB SHRUB SHRUB!

I've seen very little of it in the IRE games...Unfortunately I've seen some

very good point.This is a very good point and I agree.  Some people are just drama queens though and crave drama for they want attention.  Will get it anyway they can. 

never been bullied.

they suck, but when you take them out completely, things get less interesting.

I admit, for a while I've been a bully (mostly on youtube, a few years ago), but then I realised it's pathetic and started sorting out my things. But meanwhile I bullied bullies. It WAS fun, but that was a mistake ...since there was a high chance that their inadequacies grew and the bully needed someone else (innocent) to target.

Don't recall ever seeing it in Achaea, so never had to deal with it so far.

cured!

 

The most satisfying thing about being bullied is when you get bigger than your bully.

 

sadly there are bullies even in-game.  I myself had to snub a player just to get them off my back and leave me alone. Stalkers are that way too, often you have to become mean to the other person just to have them leave you alone.  butsomethimes in the end does not salve the problem.

And sound advice.

Might not work for all, but I've found that if someone's being aggressive beyond the point of "it's only a fun game", just stop giving them any response.  If you have thick skin and the patience, eventually they'll tire themselves out and bugger off.

Bullies are one of the few things that can sap all of the fun out of something you enjoy. It's simply not fair that someone is rude to another person for little to no reason, and witout any provocation. The best thing to do if you're getting bullied is to ignore the bully. However, this is easier said than done for most of the unfortunate victims of bullying. Hopefully we'll all be able to make sure that Iron Realms remains a safe and fun place for everyone.

Never had this problem, but I know some people who do. Best thing to do is to not let them ruin a game for you! This is supposed to be fun, after all.

I agree completely, except that it's quite often easier said than done. Some bullies are just persistent pains in the ass. :)

 

They've clearly got some serious issues/insecurities if they feel they need to pull the stuff they do

Ignore them. Plain and simple. You're better than that.

But I've dealt with it as I could. Some people do just need attention from anyone and everyone and will bully anyone, even the admins when they think they can get away with it. It is sad, but fortunately there are some steps you can take, and I agree, friends help. The people that abuse IGNORE (previously SNUB) annoy  me to no end. It's there for real harassment, not for idiots to ignore the consequences of their RP. I have used snub/ignore twice ever because one particular person refused to get over the fact that I didn't care how they felt about my personal RP and I didn't want their daily messages on how 'bad' it was and how it wasn't fair to them... if they didn't like it, they could find another path in their lives and get out of mine. The other I honestly don't even remember now.

hire a mark

log out a wait. they can't alweys be on

Dealing with virtual bullies?  Stop behaving like a victim.

"Overweight and smoking victim" from the article would do well if he stopped smoking and focused on his weight problem instead of complaining. Perhaps victim who cannot spell can simply talk less and check carefully every sentence before it is spoken.  Other victims could take a closer look at their behaviour.

Very often bullies do us a favour by pointing out our deficiencies, which, once accepted, can be fixed and make us better for it.

Na

Bullies will find something to bully you about. If they have to they will make something up. Their desire is to be hurtful. Best way to deal with them is to stay away from them, If you can't do that then you shall have to beat them up.

And all the hilarious search engine keywords lawl

Credit comment

Not always is the case fair-minded. If you misword the Issue at all, you don't get a chance to defend whatever the other person throws back ass a reply to the issue. Sometimes, I wish they'd take a moment to gather evidence, but I suppose that's just not always possible withthe pure number of things they've got to do. Still, it sometimes feels like the credits-bearing population get a significant amount more leeway and consideration than anyone who never has.

dunno. if you get affected by virtual bullies in a self-destructive manner, there's probably something wrong with you. at least, that's what i believe in.

One shouldn't take it too seriously, at the end it is only a game. I understand people get hurt emotionally as they are attached to their in game characters, however one should learn to get over it and try to develope fun from it in IC way.

IRE games generally have great admins. Still like anything can probably be improved. I remember  as a very new player being attacked out of the blue. Having come from another game  I figured I would just let the admin deal with it. The response from the admin even if it may have been in line with policy was brusk and insultling, along the lines of, "he didn't really hurt you." had I not had just met some really great players I would have logged out and never returned to the game.

 

While I don't expect the admins to hold my hand, as a new player I do expect them to not assume I'm some idiot for not understanding their culture.

Pit them! Let Golgotha deal with their behaviour. And if they come again, pit again.

murder them!

I like the statements "don't take it too seriously, it's just a game" and the statement "murder them" too. Maybe the key is to murder them without getting all upset about it. Heck wish them a nice day after you hand them their still beating heart.

+1

+1

cr

cr

-

-

+1

+1

I've never had to deal with a cyber bully, but cyber fools, pervs, and crazies are pretty normal.

I don't notice this all too much; a lot of people in IRE are way over dramatic, and others may take advantage of that. Snub was pretty lame and was changed a while back. We'll see if its much better.

I remember being snubbed because my name started with Kirra- in Achaea and every time I logged in specific people couldn't talk to their dog named 'Kirra' I have to say that's probably the most annoying reason I've ever been snubbed. I haven't returned since they changed snubbing.

I usually just ignore them or just leave to some other place for a while. Doesn't bother me too much.

thick skin goes miles

Eleusis are a bunch of text bullies

 

suck.

dealt with them, don't really care for it.