Text Games: The Squared Circle - RPGs versus Pro Wrestling

text games pro wrestler

by Tony Celentano

When you think of role playing games, pro wrestling probably isn't the first thing to come to mind. We have to remember, however, that these athletes are portraying fantasy characters. Pro wrestling is essentially LARPing (Live Action Role Play), presented as 'real' for entertainment value. I haven't watched it recently, but as a child I was a big fan of pro wrestling. The flashy high-flying moves, the iconic larger-than-life roleplay characters - everything an adolescent male connects with! 

The early days of wrestling gave us often exaggerated and outlandish character personalities that fans were able to get behind. Roleplay storylines back then were simple, it was Good Guy vs Villain. Iconic names like Hulk Hogan, the Ultimate Warrior and Roddy Piper were legends because they had a fascinating ability to convince the audience they were real, in every sense of the word. I think it was an Uncle who shattered the illusion for me one day, but I'd like to think I came away with a better understanding of the roleplay universe. I think a list is in order, so I present the 5 roleplay trends online text rpgs share with pro wrestling.


1: Make a Dramatic Entrance

One popular wrestler known as 'The Undertaker' had the habit of appearing out of thin air - or rather, the lights in the arena would cut out, and he'd be standing in the middle of the ring when they came back on. Combined with his "dead man walking" roleplay character, this had a chilling effect as his sudden appearance could only spell disaster for whoever was in the ring with him. IRE text games have many skills that let you make a dramatic entrance on your opponents. From dropping out of the sky screaming "DEATH FROM ABOVE!" to being carried to your targets location on a prismatic beam of light, online role playing games offer a multitude of ways to get the jump on your enemies.


2: Wear Facepaint

If you're looking to intimidate an opponent in your favourite text rpg game, consider picking up warpaint and applying it to your text game character's face. Some of the most memorable superstars roleplayed characters who wore fully painted faces. The pros of text game warpaint, however, is that it doesn't smudge off during a long, grueling arena spar, unlike the cosmetic stuff used by wrestlers.


3: Have a Cool Finisher

While you won't find a Stone Cold Stunner in IRE online roleplaying games, you will find a unique instakill for every class. And like the bodyslam that comes before the leg drop, you have multiple ways to prep your opponent for the final blow that seals the deal. Just like a well roleplayed wrestling match, text game combat can be an exciting back and forth battle. It's not uncommon for text game players to crowd around two high-profile online text game characters duelling it out, whilst cheering for their favourite!


4: Smack Talk Your Rivals

Some wrestlers were  known for their gift of gab, the ability to threaten, ridicule and taunt their opponents in a way that the crowd responded to. The same rings true for text games, in that some characters are known for their ability to completely dress someone down in a public forum! If you have a text game rival, be sure to brush up on your trash talking skills, then call them out on the public boards. Many combat-oriented players enjoy trash talk if it's fun and mature, but avoid flying off the handle with rage if you're the sore loser type. Particularly hilarious tantrums might be logged for future 'lulz' and passed around.


5: Have a Ganksquad

When all else failed, the villain wrestlers had their very own ganksquad to beat down opponents in the middle of the ring. Children in the audience could only look on in tears as the good guy was outnumbered, and that pretty much describes your victims reaction as he watches his text game character be smacked around by multiple assailants. Of course, you'll want to watch his rebounding aura, or that steel chair - erm battleaxe, might swing back and hit you in the face instead!


Lace up your boots and tights and join the rumble in the best online text rpgs!


Tony Celentano is a text game enthusiast who enjoys playing games from Iron Realms.


This article made me giggle when I realized how many people I've seen lately in masks and paint. I'm looking at you, Sentinels.

omg so bloody true :D


Thought of the same thing. 

Hehe, yeah

Man, if only someone got vivisected in wrestling. Too far?

Just Possibly a bit too far.  Just saying is all.

A Sapient's elbow, from atop a roof.

not far enough

Bit of 2 by 4 like Hacksaw Jim Duggan would be better

Could make it worth watching.


This article is funny because it's true!

Now all people need are trendy catch prhases, such as:

If ya smellllllllllllll.... what the Rock.... is cookin'!

Haha this is definately an interesting article 

it made me lol

oooooohhhhh yeeeah !!


Love this articale it made me laugh my head off

Now all people need are trendy catch phrases, such as:

Isn't that what its there for?

Your articles always make me smile with the disturbing truth you portray in such a funny way!

They should totally add pro-wrestling guilds in Lusternia. I can just imagine Luchadors coming out of Gaudiguch.

I can't even imagine what Hallifax's pro-wrestling team would be like. Lawyers, maybe?

Point #5 is all too true and never fails! Well, most of the time. >.>

Well that'd be epic achaea meets WWE Wouldn't you just love to see the superstars take on your characters?

I'd like to see you heartseed some WWE guy.  Although... that would be rather gruesome...

Well, the Tekura Backbreaker Throw is a BIT like a pro wrestling finisher...

As a longtime wrestling fan, it was easy for me to see the comparisons between professional wrestling and MUDs, simply due to the fact that we are all roleplayers. Thank you for writing this!

This brought backa lot of memories of watching wrestling as a kid. I was a huge fan of Hulk Hogan as a kid.


And, whether we like to admit it or not many of our IRE fighters are very much like these characters we see portrayed in wrestling. I like the Undertaker description, especially. And I've known a few fighters where they just seem to show up in this way. But somehow maybe it is a little bit more like one of the Ur'Vampires, or Kemnast. Usually if those guys come in...their appearance is quite...dramatic...

too true!

This article is relevant to my interests

<3 batista

I wish there was an Achaean Randy Savage. Alas...



just going to write about anything aren't we

I've always thought it was so amazing that so many individuals from so many backgrounds, and places around the world, have still managed to find a common interest in the games offered by Iron Realms.  I love seeing the articles that shine light on the parallels that make us such a diverse community.   In fact, you too can write articles for Iron Realms! 



Would the elves stand atop the ropes and cast spells or sling arrows? I could see Death From Above working well..

This made me laugh again. Funniest article so far!


This is so true, especially #4 to the extreme.



one of those dudes with big spiky shoulder pads.

I loved those guys.  What were their names?  Hawk and Animal or something?

Don't even mention it D:




Was that a real wrestling outfit in the pic that accompanies this article?


his gimmick was "The Berzerker"


so true. so true

When the new monk guilds eventually come out, one of them should totally use steel chairs as their weapons!

Yes. Hulk Hogan is going to be the next character concept for my new Sentaari.

I never watched Wrestling so.. Yeah.


I have to work out my show off. "I'm so cute" isn't the cool war cry I thought in the first place ;-)

I'd never even noticed the similarity before it was brought to my attention. Well said!!

same here... I'd never have thought about that.

This made me laugh hard. Now where can I pick up warpaint...

There are some shops throughout Achaea that sells warpaint. One in particular is located just west, then north from Centre Crossing in Cyrene. Hope that helps.

You mean the wrestling isn't real??

i've never larped before but if it includes wrestling...i think i'd want to join! but it has to be real and not staged. and also can't be pro-wrestling. more free-style or colloquial.

only dwarven wrestling could be considered LARPing.

<3 facepaints! 


i just love them hehe 


LARPing is great, though I would probably come home broken

When I saw the facepaint part, I can't help but think of braveheart.


This article made me laugh from beginning to end!


It is pretty silly.

pro wrestling as roleplay? never would have thought...

Me either, I had a clue the wrestling as well as the drama around it wasn't real but ROLEPLAY?! Maybe it was true sometime ago but modern wrestling seems far from it.

Hahaha, it's quite amusing though!

I have to object to number three, as that's simply not true. The Nekotai's skill to 'kill' is neither instant, nor really a threat. Its simply advanced crotamine and - what, you just sipped antidote? Oh, Ok problem solved. In order to prvent the target from sipping you have to slitlock them (And really, thats not even sure on account of Green/Gedulah) and then Finalsting, If you're lucky enough to keep the target there, prevent the from moving, and you don't suffer any balance or momentum loss. There are gigantic downsides to Finalsting that make it completely not worth using.

Does this mean IRE is tacitly approving ganking now?  Heh.

Option #1 one. :/ It's like a wrestling match without flashy intros. Opponents running into the ring and just immediately duking it out.

The arena is a lot like that, especially battle royales.  Not too often any tag teams other than being earringed out of combat.

Great article! This is the kind of stuff that I need to get into combat and join the lolpkers on their mighty adventures. Always nice to drop in on your enemies.

When I was a little kid, my favourite wrestler was Kane ^.^
Back then he wore that red mask on the ring, but then decided to join Lusternia and is now known as Fain of the Red Masque.
Makes sense .....

Most people take PK too seriously in text games. You don't emote a dramatic entrance, because that would take away your 'edge' and you might lose. You don't go for the flashy finisher, you just go for whatever works best.


A pity, really.

I used to make an effort to emote something before attacking. The end result: while I was busy typing these fancy emotes, my targets ran the hell away. So.. not doing that anymore.

Ability to make your own move would be cool, maybe a bit OP.


99% would abuse the hell out of it. :D though easy enough to put restrictions on it.


99% would abuse the hell out of it. :D though easy enough to put restrictions on it.


99% would abuse the hell out of it. :D though easy enough to put restrictions on it.


Nothing says fun like getting attacked by 5 people. It creates such a great environment when you lose hours or days of work killing things before you even have a chance to draw your sword. Let's encourage this sort of behavior that so clearly sums up the atmosphere of Achaea so well.

Pretty nice article! :)


Trash talking is definitely one of my favorite parts of playing MKO. I guess some of us have crossed the line a few times, but we always wind our necks in if somebody is getting OOCly upset.

This is a hilariously accurate comparison.

Many combat-oriented players enjoy trash talk if it's fun and mature, but avoid flying off the handle with rage if you're the sore loser type.

Is it bad that I know a lot of these people? One starts with an 'A' and ends with an 'n'.

Oh, as a girl who seldom watched TV I wasn't much of a fan of pro wrestling, but all the boys in my class damn loved it. They imitated the wrestlers all the time whenever they had free time at school, trying to knock over each other while the girls were watching skeptically.


How were they all so disappointed when they realised that it was all roleplay!

Funny article. I never did like watching Pro wrestling on tv, though. Its not really a girl thing, I guess.

I can only imagine someone like Hulk Hogan or the Undertaker LARPing. Hah! I don't know if wrestling is better once you know it's not real..


Reminds me of this article from Cracked: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-pro-wrestlers-are-best-actors-in-world/

What a strange comparison.


Pro wrestling isn't exactly fake, it's scripted. There's a difference. There's a far cry between scripted wrestlers and trolls, though.

The similarity here sort of scares me.


I'm coming for you!

When i do, it will be painful!




Hulk Smash



It's Hulk-a-mania, brother.  Not the comicbook hero..

Wow, that was awesome! Good article! lol

Funny read. Thanks!

Enlightening words, truly. I probably wouldn't have considered the similarities.

This article made me laugh.  Well written! :)

I am so embrassed as I too wear warpain on my face, but whats worse is I have made to look like my eyes got ripped out and blood is pouring down my face :(

Likening a mid-evil style game to the stupidity of pro wrestling cultivates the type of game play that ruins RPGs.  You are supposed to think like a Noble knight loyal to a fortified city that is the last hope for your people to live in a civilized manner.  Not a gangster or redneck that rolls around with a "ganksquad".  With that being said it is more fun to roleplay a goon than a good guy.

heh this made me laugh. Its actually true, I've seen a lot of people wearing facepaint masks.

The hell..

Mysterio flies in from the east, two legs extended toward you.

He connects!

Just as Mysterio's legs batter you in the head, he smoothly transitions his form, allowing his momentum to lock his shins against your neck. Skillfully, he twists your neck, forcing you to spin in place, before bringing you down with a hurricanrana slam.


You have been slain by Rey Mysterio, the Six-One-Nine.

for sure


+2 for lol





Tony wrote this article. However, the comparsion rings true... I personally like option #4. I've got a big mouth! 


Option #5 is obviously the best option. Let your brutish friends do the work for you! 

Don't know about the other IRE games but Achaea has bookies! Imagine getting some chump to bet on the outcome of a predetermined pro wrestling match. Maybe sweeten the deal with like 20 to 1 odds or higher. Then again people with any sense would bet on the sure thing.

Great article, made me laugh almost as much as the comments of people with no sense of humour.

Ha, pretty funny article.

a pretty funny article.  The picture completes it

Outnumbered really hurts

We always like a finisher that isn't just slaying

i do miss watching WWE

I never would have seen that connection

that was a great, funny read.  I forgot about the Stone Cold Stunner.

My character needs to get some warpaint ASAP.

Point 5: Shout 'LEEEEEROOOOOY JENGKINS and barge in!'

i wish there was a Wrestling skill in Survival.

hmm who has inkmilling? I am out of warpaint!

Never been a fan of "pro" wrestling, but suddenly I want to try and emulate it. 

nice article

nice article

Roleplaying takes many forms, wrestling would be one. Especially since its so scripted.