Binkin and Hoomie Ridin

PUBLIC NEWS #183
Date: 1/12/2012 at 15:51
From: King of all the South, Gileelili, Village Idiot of the North
To : Everyone
Subj: Binkin and Hoomie Ridin

Okeez. I'z here to offer mah wizdum on some mattas of grate importanz to do world. Wez all hazzen sum trubbels latelee and iz tinkin iz a gud time to sit back, relax, bleed some enemees and den just be wit da one youz lovin. Or yur sex slave. Eidder way. Iz here to givven you mah wizdum on da matta of binkin and ridin hoomies
Binkin iz a sacred act of da gobbo peeplez and apparently iz a jok among da odder razez. So lizzen. Derez nuffin wrong wit me luvvin youz, or youz, or youz, or youz. Givven yur head, or bodee to anudder persun can neva be wrong if dat luv is true, or you iz bored. And if yuz feel, like Gil duz when hez likin someboddee, den goez and getz it on. Go Binkin! Go Go Go!
Now, Iz heren tlak bout ridin hoomies like youz non rogueez ridin horseez cuz you cantz run like Gil. Iz tinkin Iz finally understanderin wat dat meanz. When youz binkin iz hearin....youz ridin hoomies. at least, dataz what youz do when da hummee iz binkin too. Iz not binkin with hoomies cuz gobbos and darkee elfies iz betta. But still.
Now youz all mebbe tinkin it weird to hear diz gobbo talkin bout love and peaz. But frensheep iz mageecal, and luvvin is betta dan bickerin. Bleeden iz gud, but stoopid yellinz iznt. Datz why iz followin Miz Killian. She knowin when to fight and when to binkin. And mebbe, juz mebbe, if we all stop bickrin and start some more binkin, wez can all get along
Long enuff fur sargoth to cum and keelz you, but still, binkin to enjoy yur life, cuz itz not lasten long.
Freenship iz mageec
Lord of all the South, Gileelili

Penned by my hand on the 32nd of Wochem, in the year 26.