TRIAGIA GAZETTE NO: 4 (Honest, Independent, Immoral News)

PUBLIC NEWS #269
Date: 7/26/2013 at 13:56
From: Vagrant Lord Ugralitan Iavas, the Stump
To : Everyone
Subj: TRIAGIA GAZETTE NO: 4 (Honest, Independent, Immoral News)


1. NO FOREST, NO CRY!

Elvandar...a place of serenity and peace, a myth for the superstitious masses and abitter memory for the exiled Moredhel. The Enchanted Forest has survived through several political scandals, desertion and even military defeats. They have renewed their management regularly, strengthened their military presence upon Triagia and even proven their independency by ripping the Krondor-Elvandar treaty apart, throwing the pieces to the hungry gwalis. But nowadays the danger looming over Elvandar is more insidious: The call of the Dark Path. Aidan, a noble Crusader of Tith-Onanka was the first one to hear the call and defected to the Northern Fortress. His wife Ellesmera followed him without a hesitation and after that an Elder of the Eledhel, Marluna joined the fray. We will see whether Elvandar authorities will find a solid solution to prevent these defections or not.

2. LONG LIVE THE DUKE!

48 years after the fateful events at Sethanon, the Almighty Duke of Krondor celebrates his 42nd year of unbroken reign over the City of Krondor, Western Capital of the Kingdom of the Isles. Throughout his time, he was known by being fair to his subjects and upholding the laws to the extreme points. Some even claim that it requires to sign 12 volumes of official paper to deliver a discussion to the Congress. Other then that, he always cared for the people of Krondor and put their best interests in his heart. Celebrations were wild; where dwarves, Tsurani and Kingdom humans drank to his health while Keshian guests made snide remarks about his silly blue hair. As Triagia Gazette we wish Duke Ged another 42 years of rule!

3. LET FREE THINGS REMAIN FREE!

After several years of extortion by the nations of Triagia, the First Councillor Sandidicar convinced other Councillors to say "NO!" to the invasion of Port Natal. The crimes of Duke Nicholas conDoin, who tried to subjugate the Free Cities during the Conquest of Bosania, are still remembered by the free people. In that spirit Sandidicar said "We had proven the superiority of our ideals in the past and shown that we will not bend the knee before any emperor, chief or monarch. And to honor the people who gifted us with this freedom, we will shine over the kingdoms and the empires like Prandur shone over Armengar!" People cheered and embraced the First Councillor then lavish celebrations followed the speech. Meanwhile several volunteers pledged themselves to the Free Cities and vowed upon to do whatever necessary to further the ideal of freedom.

4. MAD MOREDHELS ARE ON THE LOOSE!

There is not a day passing by without a Moredhel causing some trouble within Triagia. First reports came from Elvandar and Krondor where a mad Moredhel woman named Aria was stabbing old fragile people and green boys on the back, for no particular reason. Furthermore it is said that she committed such atrocities with the weapon of Nomatsu, a Grey Warrior. Nomatsu called Aria as an affront to Tsurani race and added that even a Grey Warrior such as himself would not go around to kill weak and defenseless. The second report came from Sar-Sargoth where Doctor Malapardis (we could not find any certificates which validates his medical education) who poisoned an Incubus named Christoff. Christoff started to slit throats of the people of the Northern Fortress and threw the city into chaos. On a legal basis, Christoff as a Councillor of Stardock using roguish tricks is in a direct violation of Stardock Laws where Councillors should be a Magician, at all times.

5. OUTRAGEOUS DEMAND FROM BLUE RIDER COUNCILLOR!

The Councillor of the Blue Riders Christoff, asked for a community action against Evaldir. He said "Seems we have once again come to that time of the decade, where it has become expectable to attack and kill those hunting, minding their own business, or unable to defend themselves. I refer to, of course, Evaldir's most recent actions." OUTRAGEOUS! Statistically everyone gets attacked or harassed in a way while they are minding their own business. A deer who eats grass gets hunted by a lion, Sargothians extort and kill Port Natal citizens(who wish to mind their own business), Kesh invades Triagia while the people of Triagia are minding their own business, Elvandar from time to time captures Hush while the Black Slayer and the Goblin Raiders are minding their own business, mad Moredhels are backstabbing those who are minding their own business. Let us face: IN THIS WORLD NOBODY CAN MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS! We let out a sigh of relief and suggest Councillor Christoff to not make such outrageous demands which accuthe whole Midkemian races. He should definitely -mind his own business-!

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6. BEWARE THE TROLL!

Recently a troll named Grudar grabbed our attention with his well-spoken words and thorough analysis on the Dark Path. BEWARE! Especially people of Elvandar should be careful with this particular troll. He speaks and writes fluently in many languages, he uses words even the most avid lawspeakers could not comprehend and he can be very convincing. Please do not listen to the call of this mad troll which is an aberration of nature, an anomaly within the troll populace. Decent trolls bash heads, gnash raw meat, crush tablets and chew on scrolls, not read them. As Triagia Gazette , which has several decent troll employees, we are ex-communicating Grudar. Call him a droll, not a troll!

7. MILITARY DOMINANCE ON TRIAGIA!

After the defections from Elvandar to Sar-Sargoth, the Enchanted Forest lost a few decent fighters but more importantly it fell into a state of demoralization. On the other side, the Western Capital is not what it used to be, they are far outnumbered by the Sargothian military. Add the fact that Krondor-Elvandar treaty is nonexistent, it leaves the option of joint action against the Northern Fortress. Thus due to disarray in Elvandar and lack of interest in Krondor...Sar-Sargoth triumphs over Triagia. As Triagia gazette we are looking forward to solutions from both Elvandar and Krondor in culling the advance of the Dark Brotherhood.

MR. PORT NATAL
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It has been a long time since we delivered smoking hot news to our readers. We have been educating our baby trolls who are now healthy younglings fit for delivery business. Free people should not fear that we will falter in our holy duty of providing true stories, facts and important bits of knowledge.

Freedom is an ideal which can be considered like a fickle woman. One should cherish it to the end and should do whatever necessary in order to keep that woman with you. Do not sell her for paltry amounts of gold, for safety or for other pleasures which is another form of slavery. You will live a more satisfactory life without bowing down to a monarch or any other noble. When our heads contact with a warhammer they pop open regardless we are noble blood or son of a farmer.

I hope you enjoyed this issue. Mr. Port Natal loves you all, have a pleasant week!

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Triagia Gazette is the leading source of information available to public and published irregularly(on management's whim) from time to time. Don't mix it with imitations like Rillanon Times or Roldem Street Journal. Triagia Gazette year 48. All rights reserved.










Penned by my hand on the 5th of Dzanin, in the year 48.