Missing you

Date: 2/15/2014 at 10:35
From: Abijah
To : Naftali, Lightsworn Keeper
Subj: Missing you


Does this board find you well?
How are you?

I'm likely hurting people with this writing, maybe I'm hurting you too.
I hope I do.

You see, I've hurt countless heads, and a vast number has done it to me too.
As well as you.

Remember when we were young and we used to believe that nothing could stop us?
I do it too.

Then it became a consummate fact that you and I could not be disassociated.
Was it more me, or more you?

Fact became a routine, act became a pro-form.
was it like that for you?

When the both of us became so hurt and you looked the other way and there I was...
Was it easy to be bitter too?

When you stop reacting for fear of hurting or becoming more hurt, and I'm clinging to the last bit of sunlight from your now empty soul.
What am I supposed to do?

And then I stop and look at you, you look tired and empty and I can't see the flame that used to burn inside you.
Are you the Edhel I once knew?

I wondered if it was better for me to go, the people wondered why we were still one.
I did it for me, but mostly for you.

I tried to live another life, to start anew.
But I think I'm too old and it's too late to fit anywhere wherever I go.

I hate myself and I hate you,
because simply, I still love you.


Penned by my hand on the 31st of Dzanin, in the year 56.